Well, I don’t think many expect me to comment on this topic given my colorful history – but it seems to be an area that so many friends still struggle with, so perhaps some additional commentary may be helpful after all (at least, maybe some peace of mind). I will preface this by thanking all those who have been praying for me over the last couple of years – for if you have not heard, my request for an annulment was affirmed, allowing me to truly focus on putting the past where it belongs and moving forward with the new chapters of my life.

As I sit here typing, my significant other and her close friends are watching the latest season of Chris Harrison playing Matchmaker… or more affectionately known, the Bachelor. For as much as everyone vents about drama in relationships today and individuals “talking” to several others at the same time – everyone also LOVES watching it play out on TV as poor souls sign up to put their misery on display for millions to watch. I’m not sure what could be more damaging to a person’s morale: having all of your closet skeletons come out while running for political office, or having someone “break up” with you after a few weeks of condensed conversations on television for all to see.

If you’re having a difficult time dating, my opinion/advice is extremely simple: never be afraid to be yourself. As I found myself back in the awful world of trying to find the “right” one in 2017, I bounced from app to app that friends would suggest, spending way too much money out in the popular Boston bars, trying to pretend that my situation was better than it was… you name it. Now, if your goal is short term hangouts that end up in awkward ghosting or uneasy encounters – apps and nightlife are the way to go. You will end up increasingly unsatisfied as you try to continue getting over your last relationship, and put yourself in unwanted circumstances with new people that won’t get you anywhere.

As a year of those trials concluded, I committed to myself that it was time to focus on me first rather than what I could find in the world out there. It was time to truly focus on what I still needed to work through from the past, and let God’s plan play out without me trying to interfere. I became a pretty solid third wheel for others, because I honestly wanted to enjoy other people’s company and friendships rather than focusing on the endgame – because I acknowledged that it needed to come naturally. Crazily enough, the year finished by me meeting someone who didn’t even live in the same state that I did (at a time when I didn’t have an intention on meeting anyone)… and over a year later, I’m now back down south to try and see where this can go living in the same area.

We are all in this together – so don’t be afraid to reach out if you ever need someone to bounce ideas off or simply listen. Just because close friends are where you thought you’d be at this age, with a spouse and a couple kids and the house and the job… remember that His plan is much more rewarding and promising than anything we can dream up in our limited peripheral. Double down on who you truly are, with the incredible gifts and talents you have, and show the world what you’re made of – the right person will fall for it, when you least expect it.