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The World of Podcasts

Since several of you are constantly asking when you get in my car “what the heck is this” I’m listening to… let’s dive in.

I LOVE podcasts. Whether the commute is short or long, you get the opportunity to listen in to someone else’s take or conversation on a topic you may know nothing about – or on the contrary, get to hear a differing opinion than your own and have the necessary alone time to process and reflect on it.

For those looking for recommendations, I will break them down into a few categories and provide links below. As our world continues to transition to more digital content, I highly encourage you to consider this option in lieu of certain video platforms – or even to make the most of your walk/run instead of music to shake things up.

Faith-Based: This is easily the area I spend most of my listening, as it is of paramount importance to me that I stay in tune with the vulnerable and honest voices that dive deep into issues that concern us all.

1 – Catching Foxes. There can’t be enough said about Luke and Gomer, as their witty banter is the sort that everyone (religious or not) can listen in to and appreciate immensely. The brutal honesty, which often comes with emotional meltdowns as life throws crap at us on the daily, is a refreshing change of pace to listen to in the madness of this world. I often find myself laughing at the start of an episode, and sobbing 20 minutes later… and laughing again by the end, because these guys take you on an incredible roller coaster.

2 – The Gloria Purvis Podcast. This incredible woman has been put through a myriad of challenges as this side of media has played catch up with the rest of the world, and continues to hold her head high and tackle the toughest of topics that most would rather leave alone. The subject matter is often intense (in comparison to what others are willing to converse about), and it is so desperately needed in today’s society – because she does it from a place of pure love for all, no matter what.

3 – Saint Dymphna’s Playbook. As one who believes mental health continues to be widely ignored in our society (or rather, our society makes false claims about addressing the issue), Tommy Tighe has graciously taken the time to develop a fantastic set of episodes on the subject. Not only will he dive deep into topics that others are afraid to speak up on, but he does it in a manner that is prayerful – and I often find myself incorporating these quick bits into my daily prayer life as a way to keep the intention of mental health at the forefront of my prayers.

Humor: Because there are times when I simply need to take a break from the seriousness and let loose.

1 – Correct Opinions w/ Trey Kennedy. There is no denying that this personality has captured the hearts of many who spend too much time on social media, and he takes it a step further by exploring hysterical categories like crazy white baby names (that drive us ALL insane).

2 – AJ Presents The GR8R Good. An old college friend continues to stir the pot with Abbey alumni and on demand listeners alike by stating the pure and simple truths that we may or may not want to hear. Though I may not always agree with his statements, he did do the Lord’s work in convincing me to watch HIMYM and understand just how glorious of a television series it really was.

3 – Riled Up w/ Arielle + Matt. This darling couple takes time out of their insanely busy celebrity lifestyle (sarcasm, sort of) to tell us what really gets them fired up, and I am constantly here for it. Often poking fun at each other and their hysterical relationship, it is a breath of fresh air for many who need to simply let off some steam when it comes to an odd argument or situation encountered during the day – because these two have the willingness to go down that rabbit hole with you of verbally taking a bat to that person’s car.

Motivational / Miscellaneous: Because my interests are all over the place, and it can be hard for you to keep up.

1 – New Mindset, Who Dis?. Case Kenny was someone I stumbled across when I needed this form of inspiration the most – quick bits to get your day/week started with the right frame of mind, no matter what part of life may be bothering you at that moment. Once you get hooked on this guy, you’ll find yourself buying his journals and rocking out to his Motivational Mixtapes – and becoming a 1000% better person as a result.

2 – The Catholic Guy Show. For those who can’t listen to Lino real-time on Sirius XM, this is the next best thing. This option ends up in this category – because if you take the time to listen, you’ll realize that this crazy collection of misfits (even with the show name) doesn’t belong in any assigned category. Though Lino and Mark will often berate Tyler over his refusal to give in and convert already, the faith aspect of the topics they cover can often blend into the background as they celebrate being human… and often, the errors/mishaps that come with that blessing as a result.

3 – Everyday Liminality. I know, it is a couple of guys who wear “weird robes” and all… but no, this one still doesn’t go into the Faith-Based category either. These Franciscan brothers do an incredible job diving into the world of entertainment and really doing justice to the work that creators/writers put in to making these shows and movies what they really are. The titles can often really snag your interest too – “Field of Dreams: The Notebook For Guys” speaks to me on quite a personal level, and I feel obligated to share another favorite with you all.

Honorable Mentions: (may or may not be ones that I have appeared on in the past)

1 – Cut. Light. Connect. (yes, this is our own vlog which is different… but alas, I’m biased)

2 – NC F&B Podcast

3 – Music and Booze with Mo

If you enjoy what you find in the black hole of podcasting, please consider subscribing and supporting these cool cats and kittens in any way you can. I find myself often subscribing to Patreons and finding their live shows in hopes of connecting with fellow listeners and creating a more positive environment around us all. Who knows… if you play your cards right, you may end up convincing me to start up my own.

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United States? What’s united about it?

In any given city at this current time in our lives, you will find people ready to fight – verbally and/or physically – over their beliefs that they are right when it comes to a smorgasbord of items. Religion, science, and what you may believe to be the truth about any given category is up for grabs – people share screenshots of what they find online and profess it to be their sole reason for taking up the fight against vaccines, masks, refugees, and overall human decency. There are legitimate talks in certain parts of the country of having towns on state lines “identifying” with the next state over – because they can’t stand the tax rates and policies in the state they are currently affiliated with. If we didn’t have a bunch of keyboard warriors as citizens in 2021, there could be a legit civil war that breaks out in the US (and there is no denying that everyone is going to avoid battle with Texas – the amount of ammo stored in that state is enough to overtake the rest of the country).

Let us get one thing straight – you are no better than the person next to you just because the beliefs you express may give you the courage to think that. Your simple Google search for stats does not give you the ability to “take down” someone who has studied that subject their entire lives on an online platform. Your failure to pay attention in class or church does not give you the right to claim expert status just because “I was raised in that church” or “I took that class freshman year” – get over yourselves and your false claims to credibility.

Right now, everyone in this world is struggling with something (whether they openly admit it or not). For me, I’m struggling to maintain sanity when I am bombarded day in and day out with people’s opinions that are hurtful, illogical, and just plain foolish to be sharing in public. It reaches the point where depression and anxiety look at each other and wonder how much more creative they could get than the circumstances we find ourselves in.

If you think this post might be in reply to something you said or did… it probably is. Now, more than ever, is the need for careful self-examination when it comes to how we process the information we receive – and especially when it comes to how we turn around and share said information. This is not merely about religious or scientific debates, but across all subject matters that the media zooms in on with the hope of getting us frustrated with each other.

If you think this is Ben trying to sit on a high horse, please seek help. I am simply sick and tired of people posting stories for the purpose of getting others riled up because “THIS SITE SAID MASKS ARE USELESS” and “NOBODY IS GONNA MAKE ME CARRY A FORM OF ID TO GET SOMEWHERE” – take a Xanax and understand that all of us are trying to figure this out together. Not a single soul wanted anything about the pandemic to last more than a few weeks, yet here we are nearly back to square one across the GLOBE. You are all amazing people – don’t let temporary flareups get in the way of that shine.

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Oh, Little One.

For years, I have often broken down in prayer asking why I was having to go through so many tribulations – while watching others (and still being extremely happy for them all the while) be blessed with new life in their families. Whether adopted or naturally conceived, children were coming into the lives of my family and friends while I was having to overcome personal battles that I wouldn’t ask anyone else to endure. While I happily play the role of the fun and crazy uncle (honorary or otherwise), I couldn’t help but wonder at times what the Lord had in store for me when it came to my own family.

Elizabeth Wray, there is no doubt that your entrance into our lives will change the way we operate on the daily – but in just about every aspect, that will be an amazing thing. I already thrive on a lack of sleep, so no biggie there… nevertheless, I hope you have your mother’s ability to sleep and sleep well!

The world that you are about to experience is one that is filled with blessings and challenges. There are days when there aren’t enough words to console those around us, and yet there are also days when we can’t stop smiling and laughing at what happened to us that day. I can only hope that your presence in this world will bring incredible joy to those who get to meet you, and that you manage to snag a bit of the good in both of your parents (but most certainly more of your mother’s, since she manages to rise above the madness with only a Starbucks in her hand).

We are about three months away from you gracing us with your arrival, and time can’t go by fast enough for me. I willingly embrace all the challenges that will come with being a girl dad, and can only hope that I live up to some of the expectations that I set for myself when it comes to being your father.

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The trials of being a decent person.

Friends, it’s been a while. I felt compelled to write to you today after seeing various reactions to the jury verdict that was reached this week. I put these words down out of love, out of hope for our future, and what we are capable of accomplishing together.

First and foremost, we are human beings. It is in our nature to make mistakes, and it is also in our nature to learn from them. What we have been witnessing over the past year are groups of our fellow brothers and sisters struggling and reaching out for help. Whether you or I have been actively involved in incidents that have led us to this point is somewhat irrelevant – I merely hope that we all recognize the opportunity at hand to play our part in making our communities safer for everyone who resides in them.

This week, a group of our peers met together and determined that what one man did to another was wrong and that justice needed to be rendered in the form of punishment. I know everyone wants to play conspiracy theorist and find ways to clickbait others into believing some particular aspect of this incident to draw more lines in the sand, but enough is enough. We owe it to ourselves as human beings first and foremost to look out for each other – and in this circumstance, it requires a look in the mirror to examine how we can conduct ourselves so that we don’t give the news outlets any more reasons to throw these types of once-in-a-lifetime circumstances in our faces once more.

Love your neighbor. Jesus made it so simple, yet we find it to be the most troubling part of our time on Earth. It DOES NOT MATTER if this neighbor has a drug problem, has a mental health problem, bullied you in the past, whatever it might have been – love. your. neighbor. We have been conditioned to believe that this is a “gray” area based off what others tell us, but it doesn’t change the fact that we need to put preconceived notions aside when it comes to treating our fellow humans with dignity and respect.

This is not a conservative, moderate, or liberal position. As a simple man, I implor you to walk the walk when it comes to taking up a cross and remembering that only those without sin cast the first stone. Let us encourage each other to look straight through to the heart of someone we interact with – no matter skin tone, how they vote, and what pains may have been caused in the past.

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The complex question of existence.

My grandmother had a comment the other day, as Chelsea and I drove up to visit with her, that caught me completely off guard. “Do you ever have that feeling – it comes and goes – when you start to wonder if you truly exist in this moment?” She then followed up the statement by paying me an incredible compliment, stating that by listening to my recording that I sent her of me playing the piano that she felt reminded that she most certainly exists – and in the best way possible.

On one hand, it scared the crap out of me. I never want my Nana to feel like that, and I want to do everything in my power to make her feel loved, appreciated, empowered – anything to help her feel like she does exist in this present moment (rather than the past that we enjoy reflecting on). In undergrad, most of us go through the core course that has us reflect on “I think, therefore I am” (Descartes) – but we often don’t take the time to truly ponder philosophical battles internally as the years go by faster and faster.

On the other hand, she was able to put into different words what some of us with mental health battles can often not describe to our therapists and doctors. There are indeed times in our lives when – even for a mere few minutes in the afternoon – there is some imbalance (call it chemical, emotional, spiritual) when we feel like we are simply observing life happening all around us, rather than being active participants. This may not actually be a lack of “existence” per se, but with word association you can quickly reach a more precise definition of the feeling – that sometimes, we feel like we don’t matter, that what we do with our day may not impact others at all. Thankfully, there are many opportunities to course correct ourselves into understanding the vast opportunities we have at our disposal on a daily basis… but it doesn’t negate the fact that the feeling will persist.

It would seem that the older generations have struggled with this pandemic and the mental struggles that result in a completely different way than most, in part because they have been so accustomed to frequent interactions with their children / grandkids / extended family that have either been in new formats (i.e. Zoom/video) or simply nonexistent if they struggle to figure out how to utilize the technology we “youngins” rely on so easily to get us through periods of quarantine and/or isolation. Since our society continues to move away from old school letters in the mail and other traditional ways of reminding our older family members how much we love them… it is up to us to step up and find new ways to incorporate their presence / existence into our daily lives.

I guess the point of this rambling today is… check in with all of your loved ones, family and those who feel like family. Remind them in creative ways that you appreciate them – for me, it was discovering that a simple YouTube link with some of my favorite songs I have learned over the years would put the biggest smile on her face.

The link to one of those is below.

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Positivity in a toxic climate.

Joe, I’m sorry that everyone is treating you this way. You have lived a wonderful life, filled with blessings and tragedies, and deserve to be somewhere peaceful making the most of what time you have left on this earth with your closest family and friends. Your resolve to make the United States a better place is admirable (whether we agree on any of the ways you plan on accomplishing that or not) and should continue to be commended. It really does bother me that so many in our society resort to hurling insults about your family and the personal obstacles you’ve faced instead of spending more time learning about the vision you have for our country.

Donald, I’m sorry that you’re in this mess too. You seem intent on staying as active as you can, and involving a ton of your family in the process – while I’m sure many of them love and support you, it must take such a toll mentally and physically. As it is with every disaster society faces every few years, you didn’t ask for the opportunity to lead a country through a pandemic – any of us would age 10 years in the span of a single year when trying to do what you have been tasked with. While your demeanor may not resonate well with many in this country, there is something to be said about the strength you showcase in many areas of life as you try to find ways for our country to rebound from the disaster of COVID-19.

Jo, Howie, Brian, Brock, Gloria, Don, and even Kanye… I am SO so sorry that our country can not mature enough to handle dialogue between more than two parties. You have gone above and beyond to get your names to appear on ballots throughout the country, even with so many people putting you down and trying to convince you that the attempt is futile. While many of you embrace platforms that could be considered too radical for much of the country to embrace right now, you are to be commended for sticking your neck out and taking criticism from all sides to try and do the right thing. I sleep better at night knowing there are people like you out there taking it on the chin while climbing uphill in the battle to bring dignity and fairness back to our election process.

You see, it is incredibly easy to get along with people (and even possibly pay them a compliment) yet still disagree with much of their platform and values. While I may share a meme or two that poke fun at some candidates, I also reason with my conscience on a regular basis and get down on my knees to pray for all those running for office as much as I can remember to. By stark contrast, the amount of funds being spent on mailers, spam messages, and commercials spewing catchphrases and slander by Republicans and Democrats is downright horrific, and should motivate all of us to be better.

What does that look like though? For some, it will mean taking the couple weeks of voting to volunteer at local polling centers to help the senior citizens who have done so for decades and have already done their part. For others, it will take a very honest and open conversation with their loved ones about the consequences of trying to run for local office because they feel that it is their calling. Though it has always been looked upon as an honor to serve, the conversations and culture surrounding holding office in 2020 is so toxic that it is scaring away many people (like myself) from considering such a run.

For most of us, being better implies that we need to be more thoughtful about the content we put out for the world to see – be it on our Facebook, Twitter, or front lawn. While it becomes quite comical at times to fall into the black hole that Reddit threads and photoshopped candidate memes can be… we as citizens of this great nation have an incredible chance to show the world that the federal election outcome this year will not reflect what we as a country want as our future – and it will start with our careful selection at the city, county, and state levels. Do just as much research about the neighbors running for city council, and have a conversation with them if you get the opportunity. Each small step will propel us further to a political climate that will make us believe it once again when we sing that we “are proud to be an American”.

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Chasing that *almost* indescribable feeling.

When the water in the shower hits the perfect temperature to wake you up in the best mood.

When you hug your significant other as you walk in the door and smell their scent, the one you became obsessed with.

When the air hits your face just right as you put the car on cruise near the ocean.

When the blanket is tucked perfectly around you on the couch, letting the white noise of the television lead you into dreamland.

When a friend makes you laugh so hard, it makes all the worries of the day run right off your shoulders.

When you experience something so powerful – someone’s birth, someone’s death, someone’s conversion, someone’s recovery… that it brings you to tears.

When the grease of your family’s comfort food hits your gut and tells you that the time has come for a delightful food coma.

When a stranger approaches you and commends you on a job well done… even though you had no idea they were paying attention to your work.

The smell of freshly cut grass as you wander outside to throw a ball around with the family member you don’t get to see nearly enough.

Sitting on a porch swing with a loved one, letting the stress of the day fade away into the constant and reassuring rocking back and forth with your confidante.

To the friends who are battling to stay mentally healthy, I hope you know that you are not alone. There are so many moments worth getting up and starting your day for – don’t let the dark thoughts of depression and anxiety get in your way of experiencing them. It sounds like a major hurdle to open up and talk about it with someone, but I am always a simple message or call away whenever you’re ready.

Now – go chase that feeling.

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Be that person.

The one who opens the door for a stranger.

The one who helps the elderly cross an intersection.

The one who stays late at work to help a coworker with a tough time.

The one who calls a friend at any hour of the day just to chat.

The one who offers to grocery shop for someone who has health issues.

The one who buys food for the woman on the corner in need of a hot meal.

The one who takes their friend to the train nowhere near your destination.

The one who demonstrates patience in an argument someone else heats up.

The one to give the jacket off your shoulders to someone you’ve never met.

Whatever the circumstance may be – don’t hesitate to be the person with the determined mindset, the heart of gold, and the desire to help. This world could become better overnight with just a little push from each of us every day.

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Full of gratitude.

Just wanted to take a minute to thank each and every one of you who have been an influence and inspiration to get where we are today.

To Vera, Kendall, Brianna, Adam, Kevin, and so many more – for being some of the first phone calls and conversations to remind me that there is a light at the end of it all (even if we hadn’t caught up in a while), and to keep striving to live the good life and let blessings come when they’re supposed to. We have all crossed paths in very unique ways as our lives go on, and I hope we continue to make the most of any time together we can in the future.

To Matt, John, Brett, Laura, Brian, Sam, and others – for being the shoulders to lean on when I needed to vent, for being the beacons of honesty to hold me accountable and help prove to myself that I am capable of overcoming any obstacle being thrown my way. Hard conversations were had, and they served an incredible purpose to remind each of us why we are here and what we are meant to pursue.

To Jared, Charlie, Jesse, Kevin, Matt, Reed, Jay, and all the new friends that were made along the way as part of the healing process – your friendships and time spent are treasured by me more than you can possibly imagine. Some of the most lonely of nights and weekends were quickly changed around by random texts to go on adventures and jumpstart that switch in me that needed to be brought back to life.

To Abbot Placid, Jen, Cory, Noah, Whitney, Thom, Randy, Lino, and all those who had their own special ways of keeping my faith as strong as ever, and finding amazing opportunities for it to grow even in circumstances that were less than ideal. The benefit of the one true faith being universal is that I have always felt right at home no matter where I ended up going for Mass, praise and worship, adoration, or simply a strong message on the radio as I finished my long drive home from work.

To my family – for never stopping believing in me, for always being just a call away (even if I was living an entire day’s drive away), and always keeping me in thought and prayer as I trudged through the chaos of the last few years. Words cannot properly express how much you all mean to me, and I hope you know that. It means the world to be living close to everyone again, especially as our big family continues to get even bigger.

Most of all, to Chelsea – for being an absolute rock for me to depend on when I needed it the most, for being someone whose love I never thought I was deserving of, for being the perfect piece to my bizarre puzzle of life to make it complete. A week and a half later, I still can’t believe that I found my very own Disney princess to love and cherish for the rest of my life.

2020 may have tried to get in everyone’s way with what plans had been made, but I couldn’t be happier with how we were able to stick it do COVID-19 and still pull off the unthinkable – a perfect wedding on 7/11. It ended up being a day where the thought of a pandemic was the last thing on people’s minds, and it was an incredible celebration of friendship, family, and sacrament that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. To everyone who made it possible – I can’t thank you enough, and look forward to the opportunities ahead to return the favor tenfold.

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Your moral compass.

This is a concept that has been around that deserves a revisit during this trying time in our society. Definition: noun

  1. used in reference to a person’s ability to judge what is right and wrong and act accordingly.

Ignore any of the misleading conservative / liberal connotations, whether something makes you red or blue, right or left, traditional or progressive. All of us are human – and that is a concept everyone should be taking to heart in the frustration that has been the year of 2020. The very idea of being human (and all the blessings/trials that come with it) should be the centering force in our moral compass as we walk through each day.

If I get worked up over a vehicle that has cut me off (as I do nearly every day in Charlotte), I’m not upset because this person is “fitting a stereotype” for their level of melanin, I’m upset because in my view – the person is not exercising decency on the road. My moral compass first swings in the direction that their action is inexcusable, that they are potentially causing others to react hastily and cause a scary scenario on the local highway.

Then, I remind myself that there are times when such actions may be justifiable to me personally – that person’s spouse could be going into labor with their child, a family member may be in need of aid, or the various areas of construction in town are causing them to run late for a close friend’s wedding. Should this person truly be in violation of the rules and simply endangering others, it will only be a matter of time before the proper authority over that scenario is able to assist in reminding them of the commitment we have to others on the road. I tell myself that life goes on outside of my own little bubble, and I get back to singing along to whatever song I have playing in my own car.

These small interactions that can get hyped up should be the least of our worries, and our magnetic base in our moral compass is there to remind us of exactly that. While we don’t always take the compass out of our pocket to examine the specific way to lead our troops, we all are aware that there is a certain level of decency that we expect humans to show one another – no matter what the situation may be. It is an inherently human characteristic to be compassionate to others who may be facing a situation we either A) know exactly the type of pain/stress that accompanies it, or B) have no idea and can only speculate how terrible of a time they must be going through.

In the latter, it appears that many in our society have fallen prey to the claws of media (mainstream/social) and to some extent ignorance (distraction by other means) so that the compassion falls by the way side in what we think is a legitimate excuse. If someone is trying to peacefully protest, your compass should tell you to take the time to LISTEN to them. You may not agree that their reasons are valid, but your show of decency at least demonstrates to them that their voices can be heard and that they are indeed entitled to that level of freedom in this country. You will be surprised at how they are just as upset as you are with the rioting and looting that has occurred in an attempt to undermine their cause.

As I’ve stated before to those who have asked – I am clearly in no position to weigh in on many of the issues that are prevalent today. The closest thing I have encountered to racism on my behalf is being granted an interview for my position because of my last name – Torres – where a hiring manager was trying to prioritize a minority hire, and was clearly disappointed to see my genetic blend of primarily Italian/German walk through the door (the story of how our family got the last name to be told at a later time). When it comes to the issues of interactions with police and other societal pressures that have been put on people of color throughout the centuries, I can’t speak from experience – and I most definitely cannot justify my own speculation as an excuse to not take it more seriously.

Now is the time to listen – or at the very least, make yourself available to listen to those around you if they aren’t ready to open up yet. I don’t know if you’ve turned on a phone or television in the last month or two… but there is finally a conversation producing results in this area rather than it being one-sided with our brothers and sisters in Christ feeling unheard. If you don’t know where to start (it’s okay, I didn’t really have much of an idea either) but resources are being shared across the globe for us – and you can ALWAYS devote your time and effort to where it will always make an impact, such as the food banks and other non-profits that rely on volunteers to make any sort of impact in our communities.

Wake up tomorrow determined to make a difference. I’ll see you there.