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Your moral compass.

This is a concept that has been around that deserves a revisit during this trying time in our society. Definition: noun

  1. used in reference to a person’s ability to judge what is right and wrong and act accordingly.

Ignore any of the misleading conservative / liberal connotations, whether something makes you red or blue, right or left, traditional or progressive. All of us are human – and that is a concept everyone should be taking to heart in the frustration that has been the year of 2020. The very idea of being human (and all the blessings/trials that come with it) should be the centering force in our moral compass as we walk through each day.

If I get worked up over a vehicle that has cut me off (as I do nearly every day in Charlotte), I’m not upset because this person is “fitting a stereotype” for their level of melanin, I’m upset because in my view – the person is not exercising decency on the road. My moral compass first swings in the direction that their action is inexcusable, that they are potentially causing others to react hastily and cause a scary scenario on the local highway.

Then, I remind myself that there are times when such actions may be justifiable to me personally – that person’s spouse could be going into labor with their child, a family member may be in need of aid, or the various areas of construction in town are causing them to run late for a close friend’s wedding. Should this person truly be in violation of the rules and simply endangering others, it will only be a matter of time before the proper authority over that scenario is able to assist in reminding them of the commitment we have to others on the road. I tell myself that life goes on outside of my own little bubble, and I get back to singing along to whatever song I have playing in my own car.

These small interactions that can get hyped up should be the least of our worries, and our magnetic base in our moral compass is there to remind us of exactly that. While we don’t always take the compass out of our pocket to examine the specific way to lead our troops, we all are aware that there is a certain level of decency that we expect humans to show one another – no matter what the situation may be. It is an inherently human characteristic to be compassionate to others who may be facing a situation we either A) know exactly the type of pain/stress that accompanies it, or B) have no idea and can only speculate how terrible of a time they must be going through.

In the latter, it appears that many in our society have fallen prey to the claws of media (mainstream/social) and to some extent ignorance (distraction by other means) so that the compassion falls by the way side in what we think is a legitimate excuse. If someone is trying to peacefully protest, your compass should tell you to take the time to LISTEN to them. You may not agree that their reasons are valid, but your show of decency at least demonstrates to them that their voices can be heard and that they are indeed entitled to that level of freedom in this country. You will be surprised at how they are just as upset as you are with the rioting and looting that has occurred in an attempt to undermine their cause.

As I’ve stated before to those who have asked – I am clearly in no position to weigh in on many of the issues that are prevalent today. The closest thing I have encountered to racism on my behalf is being granted an interview for my position because of my last name – Torres – where a hiring manager was trying to prioritize a minority hire, and was clearly disappointed to see my genetic blend of primarily Italian/German walk through the door (the story of how our family got the last name to be told at a later time). When it comes to the issues of interactions with police and other societal pressures that have been put on people of color throughout the centuries, I can’t speak from experience – and I most definitely cannot justify my own speculation as an excuse to not take it more seriously.

Now is the time to listen – or at the very least, make yourself available to listen to those around you if they aren’t ready to open up yet. I don’t know if you’ve turned on a phone or television in the last month or two… but there is finally a conversation producing results in this area rather than it being one-sided with our brothers and sisters in Christ feeling unheard. If you don’t know where to start (it’s okay, I didn’t really have much of an idea either) but resources are being shared across the globe for us – and you can ALWAYS devote your time and effort to where it will always make an impact, such as the food banks and other non-profits that rely on volunteers to make any sort of impact in our communities.

Wake up tomorrow determined to make a difference. I’ll see you there.

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There is no easy way to say this…

We are all idiots. All of us.

Falling repeatedly into the media traps with misleading headlines, click bait articles, things that sound promising but never turn out to be what we expected…

It does not have to be this way.

Sure, social media and the interwebs are our lifeblood at this point – it is the easiest way to communicate with family and friends, to announce new additions to the family or post pictures of various celebrations.

It is also the easiest way to put a target on your back by making a simple comment that seems harmless (or rather quite intentional) at the time. You become a villain to others just because of having an opinion that APPEARS to contrast with theirs, and it draws lines in the sand where they should never exist (seriously, when did our wellbeing start to depend on people unfriending/unfollowing us?).

For example: you use the phrase “all lives matter” because you genuinely believe those words in the context that you take them to be in. However, to someone reading them who has seen persecution in a way that you could never relate, they cannot fathom that to be true when their life experience has shown that to be the opposite. Saying that you have amazing friends, even best friends, who happen to be a different skin color (as I am certainly guilty of in the past) is not your get-out-of-the-argument-free card when it comes to this discussion.  

Another example: you claim to be “pro-life” in the sense that you believe life should be sacred and valued from conception to natural death. However, to someone who has seen horrendous tragedy in their lives and may not have been raised in the same moral code as you – it is outrageous to them that you would tout yourself as “more righteous” than them just because making those major decisions in life has come a lot more naturally for you. Moreover, if you use that phrase and follow it up with a statement that attacks those trying to immigrate to a new country or those trying to fight their way out of extreme poverty… you, by not showing the mercy and forgiveness bestowed on you by the Creator, are a hypocrite.

One more example: you claim to be “anti-marijuana” while trying to vote for farmer’s rights and supporting tobacco lobbyists in each state, when little did you know that it is becoming the one crop that can save their small businesses in the states where it has been legalized. While actively stating your opinion on this “drug” that has now been proven to tackle some of the most complicated health issues our existence has seen, you try to seek sympathy from others when someone close to you loses their addition battle to a pharmaceutical that could very well have been avoided. There is a better way through the madness, and it starts by admitting (and feeling) fault one way or another.

Without empathy and compassion on both sides of each topic in a conversation, the opportunity for progress between each other is non-existent… and for some of you/us, it might require admitting that the lack of compassion has really been a one-way street for quite some time. Resorting to terms that the media shoves down our throats rather than using our OWN words to describe our OWN feelings gets us nowhere.

Be better. I promise I am trying to do the same.

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We make it so much harder than it needs…

To make the world a better place, the recipe has always been relatively simple – love, whether or not you receive it in return. Whether you’re religious or not, spiritual or not, most can agree in some form of “karma will always come back around”, the golden rule, etc. as a quality way to choose how to act on a regular basis.

People can be awful at times. They will, consciously or not, decide to lie / cheat / steal from those they claim to love, often with no regard to potential consequences as they pursue the immediate gratification that comes with their choice. There can be justification for rash responses, but often that idea of retaliation / revenge comes from the same part of the soul that your counterpart is still battling with themselves. Choosing to be the bigger person in that moment can feel like an insurmountable mountain to climb, but the long term mental health benefit is much too great to ignore. 


When someone posts something online that you inherently disagree with, it shouldn’t motivate you to assault them with a barrage of unfair insults and degrading comments. Often, their willingness to post publicly about it comes from a place where they are looking for a constructive dialogue on how to face an issue together, not on how to divide us more. Our national media outlets do a great job of that already – anyone who even mentions CNN or Fox News immediately gets labeled “one side” or “the other side” in most minds, because of the stereotypes these outlets are willingly embracing for the sake of causing a scene (AKA creating more content).

As things continue to unfold the next couple weeks with this strand of coronavirus, I humbly plead with everyone to remember that there are so many unique ways to show love of neighbor. One day, it might be helping a coworker who can’t afford the babysitting cost to be able to come into work that day. Another day, it might be having a geniune conversation with a homeless person, who isn’t actually looking for a handout but is looking for the right resources to get on the right path… but isn’t aware of what is around because they are new to town. 


Even still, some of our more vulnerable neighbors whose immune systems aren’t capable of handling going out and grocery shopping… it takes such a small amount of effort to grab an extra bag or two at the store for them, and yet in their lives you are making a difference of incomparable value. Instead of the online badgering and commenting that gets us nowhere, constantly be looking for the potential to be of true value in the conversation and activity at hand.


“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” – Sun Tzu