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That small town kind of feel.

If you browse the interwebs on your choice of medium nowadays, it can feel downright depressing. It would seem as if “the golden days” (cue 80’s/90’s nostalgic throwbacks) have all but completely vanished in this wave of artificial intelligence, social media filters, and the constant desire to be in front of a screen for a form of instant gratification.

Rewind to Saturday night. We have been blessed to move into a newer development for our first house purchase, and the neighborhood recently finished filling up with homeowners of every race, creed, career etc. to the point where everyone deemed it time to socialize and get to know each other – since most of us were moving in during the cold weather / holiday season. Of course, with how the world is presently, there could be ample reasons to come up with to exclude oneself from such a gathering – but where is the fun in that?

It won’t take much for anyone over the age of 30 to visualize this – elementary age kids racing around the cul-de-sac in a dozen different types of scooters, bicycles, you name it. Parents kicking back in folding chairs with their beverage of choice watching the sun set behind their kids’ laughter (naturally, our toddlers found the closest pile of dirt to play in). Cheers and delightful shouts echoing in our little valley as the self-identified pyro of the group started setting off fireworks once it got dark enough outside.

This scene felt like it was straight out of a somewhat blurry VHS home video from my childhood. The only time someone got on their phone was to skip the random song on a playlist (because naturally, technology has at least brought us the benefit of Bluetooth speakers to have outside), otherwise… actual conversations happening with every walk of life who, by pure chance, now live alongside each other in pursuit of raising families, establishing careers, and finding the ultimate work/life balance. A neighborhood that seems to truly emulate what most of us envision America to be – where every possible demographic can find common ground, even if only in the simple things (sharing recipes, pet sitting, offering to help with each other’s yardwork, you name it).

As the 4th approaches with everything that comes with it, I just figured I’d write down this train of thought as a hopeful reminder to folks that life isn’t as bleak as the media makes it out to be. There are unique opportunities outside our front doors each and every day – IF we are willing to do our part and be open to a new conversation, becoming vulnerable for a moment in hopes of forming a new friendship (or at least, someone in your corner when shit hits the fan at the next HOA meeting). You might be surprised at just how great that breath of fresh air will feel.

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Why do we expect perfection?

Sorry not sorry, but this is going to be an odd combination of thoughts that have kept me pre-occupied while driving the last couple weeks. The drama that people have created around Olympic opening ceremonies, the turmoil around the disaster of a political season this is, the continued post-pandemic chaos where people are still ridiculed for wearing masks in public… why are we constantly trying to be at odds with one another?

Are these issues well-founded… or is everyone just looking for a reason to be upset with each other? For crying out loud, the Olympic ceremonies haven’t been “normal” in decades. An artistic expression that some may find interesting, some may find beautiful, and some won’t understand – wander into any art gallery these days, and that’s exactly what you’ll find. Does it detract from the goal of celebrating these athletes and what they have worked so hard for? Certainly. However, none of us volunteered to serve on the Paris 2024 Planning Committee – so it really isn’t our place to make this kind of judgment… especially when our children are at risk of losing funding for the programs at school that could help them achieve similar extracurricular goals if they so chose to pursue them. Why don’t you direct your focus there instead?

The subject line implies my thought process over the last few days… why would anyone run for political office at this critical point of our society? Some journalist is going to pull up a story from college about how the candidate did a keg stand freshman year of college, and someone will read their spin on the story and decide something about it was offensive. Instead of focusing on the issues at hand and getting their message out to potentially undecided voters, the campaign has to focus the majority of their time on damage control with something that hasn’t impacted anyone’s lives (and won’t impact anyone) – ever.

We seem to have our minds made up that it is the responsibility of athletes, celebrities, political figures, and the like… to achieve perfection in whatever it is they do. Newsflash – we are human. It is in our nature to make mistakes (just ask Adam and Eve), and it is part of our DNA no matter how much you try to ignore that. We wonder why the pool of options of who to vote for is so abysmal, but we also TERRORIZE whoever steps up and volunteers. Look at how badly past Presidents and high-ranking officials have aged in the past 20 years – we as a society put them through hell and still expect smiling faces, perfect pronunciation, and immaculate decision-making whenever they are in public. It simply can’t happen, but we lean into major media outlets to tell us how we should feel about those mistakes and weird looks, and it creates more of a hellscape in social media AND our actual, very real daily lives when it doesn’t have to.

Children used to dream of becoming professional athletes, and often still do – but now have to decide if paparazzi following their every move is worth the contract they are in pursuit of. We see these insane numbers in the NBA / NFL / MLB, only to then calculate they get about 50% of the number after taxes and fees, have to pay an absurd amount for security to keep themselves and their families safe from the scrutiny (and to those of you sending death threats to people’s homes after they miss a field goal… please get yourself some help)… it makes no sense. Why would anyone volunteer to be the face of any major organization when the backlash has become this fierce? Self-harm and the taking of own lives continues to be a major issue in our society, but we get mocked by others when we try to suggest that pursuing mental health should be a priority for everyone (and that those resources need to be more readily available) – especially for those in precarious positions.

If you got this far in my rambling, I appreciate you. I know you tend to scroll past when I suggest that you vote anything other than Republican or Democrat… but if you continue to believe that one side is better than the other, we are going to be doing this same song and dance in four years – unless a civil war breaks out before then. There are SO MANY OTHER THINGS that deserve our time and attention: the fact that several people can’t get jobs right now because corporations have made the process inaccessible, the fact that there are neighbors of yours who will have to choose tonight between paying a past due bill or feeding their family, the fact that technological advances are crippling our ability to remain decent human beings with purpose… I can go on and on. Come grab a drink and smoke with me sometime on the porch and talk about it if you’d like – but please, stop wasting time spewing nonsense on platforms (keep in mind, this is also a reminder to myself) when we have so many other good things to be doing with our time and talents.

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This is 36.

I emotionally collapse when my daughter asks “do you HAVE to go to work today”? 

When I plug into my work, it brings me incredible amounts of joy – to see the fruits of labor immediately, unlike other industries or career paths. The ideal guest experience is the ultimate pursuit, and getting to craft concepts to that end since the pandemic has truly been a blessing.

I have never felt more politically homeless in my life. Every suggested option for local, state, or federal is brought to us from the depths of Hell.

I often get frustrated with myself for not going to the gym more often, and even more frustrated looking at the time spent during the week searching for times when I could have gone.

I’m reaching the point where alcohol doesn’t do my aching mind or body any favors – but there are other things out there that do, and I’m incredibly grateful for them.

There are days I still refresh the bank app hoping to see an unexpected large sum be deposited into the bank account – yet I have no idea where it would be coming from, because winning the lottery requires playing it more often.

I am very optimistic about the future of the Church, both here and abroad, largely due to the levels of vocations AND laity commitments to bettering our situations no matter what the circumstances may be.

I stood up the “wrong way” this morning and now my back will ache the rest of the day. Getting adjusted at the chiropractor is now considered the ultimate self-care.

I know I’m old when… I have no shirts to wear, because I hate taking the time to iron them – but remain pissed off at my favorite dry cleaners for nearly doubling their prices.

I also know I’m old when all the mainstream music being made today absolutely sucks, yet every playlist pre-2010 has nothing but bangers.

Playing music continues to be the ultimate outlet for stress, pain, joy, you name it – I’m so glad I have kept up with it, even if I don’t get to practice as often, and “practice” these days looks like accompanying Elizabeth as she sings lullabies to everyone.

Regardless of how gloomy our political and societal outlook is, I somehow continue to remain hopeful that with each smile and conversation… I can try to make the day a little bit better for each person I interact with. If we all aimed to do that with our actions and responses this week, I’m pretty confident the impact would be overwhelmingly noticeable.

My thoughts go all over the place, all day every day. Not sure I would have it any other way. This is 36.

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Yes Donald, I can make bold statements too.

As that terrible season of life circles back around (unfortunately) – several of you have encouraged me over the years to run for political office… while that will likely never happen, I do acknowledge the importance of everyone being aware of one’s stances on the important things in life – so without further adieu, here is what you need to know about some of my beliefs – political, satirical, or otherwise.

I believe that in order for us to have better qualified candidates for major offices, we must create standards around comprehension / faculties that limit those who should be enjoying retirement and time with their loved ones from making a mockery of what we grew up believing is a dignified title to hold. I understand that there are a TON of these people holding office and that getting majority on a ruling to make such a change will take more time than I’d like ,but it will at least be a start. The lobbying friends on either side are currently dictating how we must live our lives, and increasing politician net worth as a result. Yet several influential leaders are still asking for pay raises – when I’ve talked to more people than I’d like to admit in the last three weeks that are starting to worry about prioritizing which bills to pay first… which is eerily similar to what us millennials saw happen in 2008.

I believe that Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time – in the manner of which the sport was meant to be played. LeBron James is a freak athlete similar (and superior) to those we watched play multiple professional sports at the same time in the 90’s – and his endurance over the years is to be commended – but the game of basketball he competes in is more of a 3 Point Contest at the All-Star Game than an actual season of wear and tear on the body. Kobe is actually my #2, for what it’s worth.

I believe that the Department of Transportation in each state should immediately fire any personnel who schedules road work to be done during rush hour on any road, ever. I also believe that citizens should be empowered to put points on their fellow man’s drivers license when they witness them being complete idiots and ignoring all common sense on the roads we have to take every single day.

I believe that big pharmaceutical companies are actively trying to ruin our lives to fatten their wallets, not improve them like their euphoric commercials on television tend to suggest. I also believe that people are doing more harm than good by choosing to ignore the simple fact that all things cannabis, which are natural and given to us by God, work better in nearly every scenario that big pharma tries to maintain a monopoly over.

I believe that gambling is a terrible addiction that is quickly impacting more people in a very negative manner. The fact that every major media outlet now has their own platforms for doing just this makes it as easy a click of a button… and those that are already in major financial holes are digging themselves deeper for the sake of winning a parlay. There is no doubt that it is now impacting the results of games that most of us cherish watching for the natural outcome – something we would stone others for doing a couple decades ago, but now seems entirely commonplace.

I believe that we are in real danger culturally of abandoning creativity for the sake of nostalgia. While my endorphin levels skyrocket as high as any other millennial when I hear certain tracks be reused or plotlines be reinvented for the sake of getting us to the box office, these works also tend to dilute the quality of art that surrounds us. The arts must continue to be embraced at every level in society, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way – let our wallets do the talking, support local, and be a primary source of support for those in your network pursuing such activity either full-time or on the side.

I believe that South Park – yes, that animated TV show your parents hated hearing the language of – is one of the most brilliant pieces of television that future generations will continue to reference long after we’re gone. What they have done to put every corner of society in check over the years is nothing short of remarkable, and I am forever grateful to the network overlords for never pulling the plug on something that will continue to provide all the reasoning people need when trying to process various overreactions to life issues.

I believe – and people are starting to realize this more often, which is great – that how we choose to educate our children is completely in our hands, no matter what others try to convince you of. This is something no one in society can shove down our throats, and it must be celebrated – rather than some current situations where children are being taught (by their parents’ examples) to mock those who may come from a chartered school, were homeschooled, had a different format because of abilities, you name it. We have such a special gift in this country to mold our children in the manner in which we deem to be the best way for them to pursue a vocation / career as well as acclimate to society… and I hope we never let anyone get in the way of continuing that.

That’s all I got for now – what are some interesting beliefs that would have your friends and family raising an eyebrow at you?

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Full of gratitude.

Just wanted to take a minute to thank each and every one of you who have been an influence and inspiration to get where we are today.

To Vera, Kendall, Brianna, Adam, Kevin, and so many more – for being some of the first phone calls and conversations to remind me that there is a light at the end of it all (even if we hadn’t caught up in a while), and to keep striving to live the good life and let blessings come when they’re supposed to. We have all crossed paths in very unique ways as our lives go on, and I hope we continue to make the most of any time together we can in the future.

To Matt, John, Brett, Laura, Brian, Sam, and others – for being the shoulders to lean on when I needed to vent, for being the beacons of honesty to hold me accountable and help prove to myself that I am capable of overcoming any obstacle being thrown my way. Hard conversations were had, and they served an incredible purpose to remind each of us why we are here and what we are meant to pursue.

To Jared, Charlie, Jesse, Kevin, Matt, Reed, Jay, and all the new friends that were made along the way as part of the healing process – your friendships and time spent are treasured by me more than you can possibly imagine. Some of the most lonely of nights and weekends were quickly changed around by random texts to go on adventures and jumpstart that switch in me that needed to be brought back to life.

To Abbot Placid, Jen, Cory, Noah, Whitney, Thom, Randy, Lino, and all those who had their own special ways of keeping my faith as strong as ever, and finding amazing opportunities for it to grow even in circumstances that were less than ideal. The benefit of the one true faith being universal is that I have always felt right at home no matter where I ended up going for Mass, praise and worship, adoration, or simply a strong message on the radio as I finished my long drive home from work.

To my family – for never stopping believing in me, for always being just a call away (even if I was living an entire day’s drive away), and always keeping me in thought and prayer as I trudged through the chaos of the last few years. Words cannot properly express how much you all mean to me, and I hope you know that. It means the world to be living close to everyone again, especially as our big family continues to get even bigger.

Most of all, to Chelsea – for being an absolute rock for me to depend on when I needed it the most, for being someone whose love I never thought I was deserving of, for being the perfect piece to my bizarre puzzle of life to make it complete. A week and a half later, I still can’t believe that I found my very own Disney princess to love and cherish for the rest of my life.

2020 may have tried to get in everyone’s way with what plans had been made, but I couldn’t be happier with how we were able to stick it do COVID-19 and still pull off the unthinkable – a perfect wedding on 7/11. It ended up being a day where the thought of a pandemic was the last thing on people’s minds, and it was an incredible celebration of friendship, family, and sacrament that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. To everyone who made it possible – I can’t thank you enough, and look forward to the opportunities ahead to return the favor tenfold.

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Why so hostile?

I get it – there are political views that we all get fired up about, and there is no fault in being passionate about something you firmly believe in. That being said… when you listen to a politician speak, I ask that you do something to help the world around us in a small way. Remember that this person is stepping up to the podium out of a desire to help our country (at least, the majority of the time) become better than we currently are, and are subjecting their families and loved ones – not just themselves – to the constant scrutiny of the media and any of us who find fault in something they do or say.


Take a moment and examine how you would feel if your child came home from school in absolute tears, having been bullied because someone made a meme of you from the debate the night before and it managed to go viral overnight. How would you react if you found your spouse melted into the couch sobbing after someone defaced their vehicle while they were at the grocery store shopping for your family? The things that are encouraged by so many of our neighbors as gut reactions to the political climate continue to do much more harm than good, and we need to be vocal about the need to address it.


We love to jump behind the walls of our computer screens that we think exist, but the way we react to the actions and statements of politicans tell society just as much about ourselves as it does the ones starting the conversation. Instead of rushing to use hurtful words that we may not necessary mean (i.e. someome is racist, something-phobic, etc.), take the time to listen with your individual compassion with just as much effort as your intellect. More than likely, the person running for office has a stance on that issue because of something personal that happened to them – and if that isn’t the case, I hope they are honest with themselves and with the general population in how they logically came to their conclusion. 


This request of mine comes from the mindset of mine that the two party system in our country is doing much more to separate us rather than unite us. We are better than this current state of affairs, and we can show that – one charitable response at a time. Taking the time to fully listen and process before responding has gone out the window in dialogue today, but that doesn’t mean it can’t make a comeback. Empathy is a beautiful thing – it doesn’t mean that we are going to convert everyone to our opinion, but it will help foster an environment where people feel more comfortable both opening up about how they truly feel and making positive suggestions as to how we can improve our world together.

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It might not make sense right now…

“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.” – Hippocrates

The recurring theme surrounding the past couple years for our generation is acknowledging that life is MUCH harder than what the movies and TV shows of old made it out to be. Often times, we won’t be able to mentally put together how things landed where they did – and when we try, it can often be looked at as a failure rather than a tough lesson taught on the way to the real success we had in mind. 


Take careers, for instance. Many parents and mentors of ours spent their entire adult lives with the same company, working their way up to the top – and as our peers demonstrate, that certainty doesn’t mean much to the majority of us craving adventure and something new with every page we turn and post we share. Friends often laugh when they talk about my work history, because to anyone over the age of 40 the thought of changing industries, let alone companies, over the span of a few years terrifies certain personality types. However, these ventures have created chapters in my book of life I never thought possible – and even just this weekend, I managed to apply something I learned from an area completely unrelated to hospitality to the newest challenge at hand in an effort to grow our business in a new way.


Relationships, this one is clear – no one sees coming.the damage that we get dealt, and sometimes even deal ourselves. Sure, there are some couples that have fairy tale stories come true of finding their better half in high school and miraculously finding ways to rekindle that love throughout the years. For the rest of us, we cling to song lyrics that explain how our future significant other will get a heart that has been through absolute hell, one that may have been broken in several places but eventually figured out a way to heal. That is, if we manage to work ourselves up to the task of committing to someone once more after the amount of pain we have gone through in the past. Even then, requiring that we manage to survive the current dating culture of swiping right before a proper introduction and hoping we don’t get “ghosted” in the process… or even end up doing the ghosting ourselves after a few dates lacking the “thing” you were hoping to find amidst that time spent together.


Through all of the hardships we endure and put others through, the one piece of the puzzle that stands out in resolution is the ability to show grace and compassion in a moment when others may find it rather non-self serving at a time when the status quo calls for the opposite. A little over two years ago, I was blown away at the message I received from an old friend, who told me that she decided to double down and take a serious look at her faith once more – because of the example I showed her by clinging to my own faith in moments where others would undoubtedly choose selfishness, anger, and resentment as an appropriate response. The odd thing to me was that I couldn’t make sense of it – in my mind, I was simply trying to do what I thought best in a hellish situation… bearing a cross, if you will, so that others didn’t have to hold that weight on their shoulders as lives were being completely upended.


Through all of the self-help books, talks, medications – we have to realize that there is no “perfect” way to bounce back from the hardships we encounter. However, there is clearly something to be said for finding a way to open up about the frustration (writing music, blogging, even calling up an old friend) and the relief that comes from pressing Send to put it out there for whoever may also be able to relate and appreciate. Keeping things deep in our hearts only postpones the inevitable outbursts and breakdowns that truly need to take place in order to move on and build something even better for yourself. Whether it be a gym routine, therapy sessions, time on retreat – pursue what you know to be good for your soul, and don’t let any of the ridiculous distractions of our society stand in your way. 


The one thing I wish I could say to myself throughout the last few years is simply this: It might not make sense now, but it will. I promise it will.

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Let’s talk about something that sucks.

On a day where we celebrate the paternal figures in our lives, and the many ways in which they positively affect the quality of that life… some of us are facing an uphill battle. It isn’t always the most obvious thing, because this is the type of sensitive topic most would prefer to bury deep down in lieu of sharing it with anyone – even closest friends.

For some, the battle is coming to terms mentally/spiritually with the fact that we are not in control when it comes to the time and place we can become a parent. It tends to take two to tango in this equation, and there are certainly cases all around us of couples that have very different opinions than their partner on whether attempting to raise a child is what they’re called to do. While one would assume that the view on such a topic is something to be clarified early on in courtship, life circumstances and other mental barriers can absolutely interfere with two people openly sharing their dreams and desires. In several instances, this will result in the end of some relationships that no one could see coming from the outside – or at the very least, produce tension in a couple that is unexpected given how “perfect” everything tends to appear on social media.

In some instances, couples equally long for that responsibility in their life, but have to acknowledge a set order of preceding events (house buying, finances in order, engagement/marriage, etc.) before making a true attempt. Now, some will say that the social expectations have started to change – and that is usually in part to God gifting someone with a new life to care for sooner than the human “plan”/anticipation. While everyone should always respond lovingly and with care to those who find themselves in that type of spot, I think it’s safe to say that many still highly value following a more standard structure of building their family if given that option. Unfortunately, that process can take a substantial amount of time, and as strong as we like to think we all are – there are some who will break down along the way and need a helping hand to get through it.

For some, it may be a frustrating development to find out that conceiving a child is physically more difficult than what school taught you years ago. While you may long for that feeling of parenthood yourself, some bizarre medical reason may be standing in your way that causes you to question God’s will. Given the nature of these medical issues, it has often been society’s response to make those experiencing difficulty feel out of place, awkward, and sometimes even unwelcome in exchanges with those who have no issues conceiving. As a result, friends we never expected to see in a dark place all of a sudden seem distant, lost, and expressing emotion that we can’t relate to. In a time where communication seems abundant around us, it is this type of honest and open communication that becomes lost in translation – which society MUST admit is a problem needing to be addressed.

What is just as frustrating for those desperate for a family is having to go through the unbelievable barriers in place when trying to adopt a child. As a society, we tend to make the mountain of adoption not worth the climb for some couples – because the legal and financial gymnastics (among other things in the process) are too much for some to overcome. Though we have gratefully seen several success stories with friends in this realm, acknowledgement that they went through “hell and back” to make it happen can go a long way – and hugging/encouraging those who have faced the answer of “no” enough times to want to give up is just as much of a priority.

A final version of struggle that I think more people are familiar with (unfortunately) is witnessing/experiencing parental figures choose otherwise than to care for the children they chose to bring into this world. Neglect and abuse are much more visible signs of harm to a person’s wellbeing than what was mentioned previously, so society has been able to step in and address the needs of these families much faster over the years. Nevertheless, it is an avenue of misery for some… but also, I hope, an opportunity for those looking to share their love in a place they probably never thought they would look.

The TL:DR version of this? Be enormously grateful for what you have. That online post sharing pictures and talking about your parent should never replace an honest conversation in person/over the phone with them about how much they truly mean to you. Most importantly, at least with what I’ve mentioned today… always be checking in on your friends and loved ones. They may not feel comfortable sharing their battle with you at first, but reminding them that they are loved and appreciated will always help right the ship.

Love you guys.

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Be kind to your mind.

We put our thoughts and feelings through so much crap. The platforms we browse on a daily basis fill these voids where natural interactions are supposed to take place – and subconsciously, often change our perception in many situations. Society has changed so drastically since we were kids that we struggle to recognize day-to-day life the same way other generations have – and even fail to relate to our peers at times because things have become so complex.

This month our world focuses on mental health, but we all know that the conversation around that topic should be something that gets addressed on a constant basis. Though it seems like those around us have started to embrace individuals who open up about their troubles, they are just as quick to mention “he/she didn’t seem quite right” as a problem occurs – and yet do nothing about that suspicion of theirs when the time is right.

Having faced the consequences of burying a lot of negative emotion and energy in the past myself, I can’t stress enough the value of searching for and finding an unbiased resource to share your frustrations with. It may seem awkward at first, and it will likely require overcoming the instinct to hold back the personal crosses we bear yet don’t feel like other people should ever know about.

Don’t be afraid of the suggested courses of action. I was – because for the longest time, I would always put others first and take whatever pain/debt/loss was involved as playing my part. Anyone proposing the idea of a medication or different routine for approaching these situations received a “stay in your own lane” response from me for years. After opening up to a couple new options, I can gladly say that several of those daily issues can be put behind me with the right action plan.

Love yourself. Always. Have the courage to tell that boss or teacher that you need the necessary time away from a responsibility so you can properly focus on you – whether it be mental, spiritual, physical, or maybe a combination of all the above. Feel the relief that comes from opening up about things that have been kept wrapped up under the blanket on the couch for so long. You’ll thank me later.