Different types of pain – and why their acknowledgement…

There are friends you’re talking to frequently who have PTSD years later – from being the one who found a loved one dead by suicide – from trying to save someone close who ended up drowning – from witnessing a grotesque and fatal car accident involving someone they knew.

There are friends you’re talking to frequently who are grieving – from having a pregnancy end in one of the worst ways imaginable – from losing someone to a brutal terminal illness no one anticipated – from having someone they trusted more than anyone else abandon them.

There are friends you’re talking to frequently who are terrified of making a major change in their life – because of the retaliation (physical, emotional, or otherwise) they fear will result, that they will make an even bigger mistake by not committing to the change, and that doing nothing will haunt their thoughts the rest of their days.

There are friends you’re talking to frequently who hide it the best they can – but are nearing a literal point of drowning when it comes to debt and finances – who see every possible avenue as one that digs them a deeper hole – who have exhausted their resources to keep things afloat this long, and who will start resorting to crime

None of these should be measured on a scale as one being worse than another – currently, many of these folks are holding back from sharing about their experiences because they think others won’t understand, or that they will be looked at differently for sharing, or even worse – because they doubt the efforts of anyone else would help the cause. As you try to identify a way for you to help a loved one, remember to be empathetic – make sure to acknowledge that everyone’s struggles are valid and are not to be compared or judged.

For our society to stand any chance at restoring some common decency and core values among ourselves, we have to be willing to commit to a few steps that may sound simple – but they’re not, and they could mean the difference in helping remind those around us that they are loved and appreciated. Sometimes they will simply need someone to listen, sometimes they will need someone to respond and provide suggestions on what to do. Get comfortable with the difference, don’t be afraid to be honest if the problem is in an area outside of your network / expertise, and offer to at least guide them in the right direction now that they’ve taken a great first step in being willing to talk to you about it.

We might not have the ability to solve all of the world’s problems individually – but there are a lot of individual efforts we can each take on to get some base hits for our team in this game called life. Just remember, if you find yourself asking if you are a “good enough” parent / sibling / coworker / teammate / friend – only the good ones keep asking that question.