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Men Are Broken.

There is no denying it at this point – we all have men in our network of friends, peers, and families that are struggling with major life issues… and more often than not, they are hesitant to share that struggle with anyone out of fear of being shamed, ridiculed, bullied, or simply more isolated than they already feel.

There are men I have spoken to in the last year that have turned to disastrous choices, including some choosing to make attempts on their own lives. Some have reached that decision due to unfathomable tragedies that have occurred in their lives (loss of family members, loss of work they held dear, pain caused by words/action of themselves or others that caused strife), others feel they have no other choice when they are constantly surrounded by negativity with no positive outlook to turn to. I am sick to my stomach hearing about suicide becoming as prevalent as it is in our society in this moment, and am determined to find something that can be done about it.

I am no counselor – that’s my dad’s professional line of work – however, I am beyond empathetic to a fault, and will hear out anyone who needs someone in that capacity. I’m not writing these things down to suggest I have any of the answers either; rather, I want to make sure that I take the time to tell those around me that you are not alone in your battle. It might feel like no one else can relate to what you’re going through, and you need to know that feeling is some form of evil at work – because most of us can relate to these situations, whether we admit it publicly or not.

Please help me destroy the assumptions / stereotypes that men have to constantly be strong, because the truth is that we all need moments and spaces where we can be vulnerable in order to process the amount of chaos in our daily lives. If everyone operated under the premise that each and every human occasionally needs that support system (or sometimes, just a little time away from the distractions and obligations to reset), our culture would be nowhere near as toxic as it feels it is today.

As my new pin I found on the interwebs reminds me, it’s okay for your serotonin to be store bought. It’s alright to admit that you aren’t capable of handling a task or assignment some days, and to ask for someone else to own the task while you sort things out on a personal level. What should not be acceptable is keeping these thoughts and feelings to yourself, as well as thinking that just because one therapist or pill didn’t help the situation doesn’t mean A) you yourself are helpless and B) that giving up is the only option left. We are truly all in this together.

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Chasing that *almost* indescribable feeling.

When the water in the shower hits the perfect temperature to wake you up in the best mood.

When you hug your significant other as you walk in the door and smell their scent, the one you became obsessed with.

When the air hits your face just right as you put the car on cruise near the ocean.

When the blanket is tucked perfectly around you on the couch, letting the white noise of the television lead you into dreamland.

When a friend makes you laugh so hard, it makes all the worries of the day run right off your shoulders.

When you experience something so powerful – someone’s birth, someone’s death, someone’s conversion, someone’s recovery… that it brings you to tears.

When the grease of your family’s comfort food hits your gut and tells you that the time has come for a delightful food coma.

When a stranger approaches you and commends you on a job well done… even though you had no idea they were paying attention to your work.

The smell of freshly cut grass as you wander outside to throw a ball around with the family member you don’t get to see nearly enough.

Sitting on a porch swing with a loved one, letting the stress of the day fade away into the constant and reassuring rocking back and forth with your confidante.

To the friends who are battling to stay mentally healthy, I hope you know that you are not alone. There are so many moments worth getting up and starting your day for – don’t let the dark thoughts of depression and anxiety get in your way of experiencing them. It sounds like a major hurdle to open up and talk about it with someone, but I am always a simple message or call away whenever you’re ready.

Now – go chase that feeling.