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A decade.

Last night, the end of another week in quarantine, the fiancee and I stumbled across an old football game being replayed on TV – one I distinctly remembered watching with old roommates at a crappy bar back in 2010. The memory came roaring back like it was yesterday, and sent me down a path of reflection of how the last decade turned out in life.

2010 – I graduated college, and immersed myself in all things Charlotte. Being newly single after a relationship that lasted all of undergrad, I had a bit more time on my hands to explore what I was supposed to be doing with my life. Having to settle for a job at first was alright in my book, mainly because I was able to live and work with several close friends I had made over the previous few years.

2011 – This year showed me how high risk could reap high reward. What started out as a kid looking for his big break (and actually using his degree) turned into running the floor of the hottest nightclub in town, where everyone who was someone (or trying to be someone) would pull up to each night. I was shown the value of a confident appearance, being told to “get a credit card, go buy a new suit and a nice watch… and see what happens next.” (spoiler alert, I got the chance to go back to work for this individual later on)

2012 – Approached by a team looking for someone to help propel their brand, I slid over to a concept I found incredibly unique – part hookah bar, part cocktail lounge, part small plates/desserts. As the DNC brought traffic into Charlotte, I found myself continuously surrounded by all kinds of influential types as the small business atmosphere in Charlotte shone bright for all to see. This venture allowed for my relationships, personal and professional, to grow exponentially with the amount of networking and opportunity that opened up for me as a result.

2013 – My climb up the ladder in hospitality seemed to reach a high point that summer, taking over the operation of two locations in Charlotte that touted another unique environment – part barbershop, part speakeasy. As fascinating as this was, it was also a bit before its time in a town that was still trying to find its own identity. I also learned in this venture that not all employers operate the same way, and there are some who I fundamentally disagree with… which led me to question whether or not the world of small business / hospitality was the one for me.

2014 – I took getting laid off for the first time in my life as a sign that it was time to change direction. At the encouragement of many saying “you are already doing sales, it simply isn’t part of your title,” I went through the lengthy process of becoming a specialist in the software world and began traveling extensively outside of NC. This opened my eyes to a completely different side of ambition, as it hit me that I had never really had the chance to use my work as a means for going and exploring more of the country. An epic party happened in the fall, which I’ll dive more into later, and then the next few years became a chapter of their own.

2015 – Packed up and moved to Austin, Texas… I’m sure my family thought I was crazy, but it seemed like the perfect amount of crazy to pursue at the time. Met an incredible new group of friends, co-workers, and customers alike as I completed my training at the top of my class and started taking offers from regions on which territory I should move to and sell in (since a vet had unfortunately taken the Austin territory right before I became eligible). The one year as a Texas resident was action-packed to say the least, and the appeal of that area (not just queso, tacos, and BBQ) has gotten me to come back and visit as often as I have been able to.

2016 – The New England team was rather convincing (work team, not the damn Pats), and I drove halfway across the country with barely any stops to set up shop just outside downtown Boston. I started driving 3-4 hours a day visiting clientele in states I had never set foot in before, learning along the way that sales needed its own demeanor and confidence in order to break the barriers customers would have in place. With some growth, I became one of the best when it came to CRM products – and naturally, began taking every store visit as an opportunity to find new local hotspots, tourist must-sees, and scenery that makes any magazine jealous it can’t capture the full essence of.

2017 – The true definition of “new year, new me” as I found myself single again after a lengthy relationship – this time, in a city where I had few friends and no family. For some bizarre reason, I saw that as an incredible opportunity to do some self-discovery and moved to a different Boston neighborhood to start all over. By the end of the year, after a variety of trials and tribulations that need a book of their own, I had a badass apartment and adopted a badass cat to keep me company. On top of that, I met a girl who I couldn’t stop thinking about… and the irony was, she lived back in Charlotte.

2018 – The year of depression. I realized after some time that I needed to go through the proper channels of therapy and coaching to truly recover from the previous relationship, as well as determine what should come next when it came to work. While it was a fun few years of challenges with R+R, I took a different sales role with a smaller territory in Boston to confirm the suspicion of whether or not it was still something I wanted to do. As I began doing that, I also helped consult with a local sports bar that needed help remodeling and then selling… and realized just how much I missed the energy and passion of food and beverage. By the summer, I cut ties with software sales altogether to dive deeper into the world of Boston bars – bartending here and there and becoming extremely self-sufficient with every side hustle in the book. As our relationship grew, I knew that the next step was to move closer to Chelsea (as well as my family), so I started exploring a variety of options closer to home.

2019 – Interviews came and went, and I was a little frustrated that while I often got to the final round with a group… something would be said and/or done that would make me question the integrity or mission of the company – and I would respectfully bow out of consideration. Ironically, one group wanted to take me out to dinner to talk numbers after several meetings and assessments – and after giving them a list of options in Charlotte, they elected to go to a restaurant that an old mentor operated. Sure enough, at the end of dinner – I spotted him at the end of the bar, and we caught up for old times sake. That apparently sparked the fire that needed to happen, because a few days later I was in the corporate office hearing their pitch about their concept that they would like my help with. After all these back and forth conversations with new companies and offerings, imagine my surprise to find such comfort in conversation with old friends who I had worked with YEARS ago (the ones who challenged me in 2011, that is). For the next year, living Uptown and walking to work enabled me to see family more frequently, hang out with old friends once more, and especially develop my relationship with Chelsea to the point where I wanted to propose.

2020 – Here we are, in the midst of a pandemic that no one knows how to handle appropriately, and all I can do is reflect on all the crazy things that have happened along the way. Now, as you can clearly tell, I left out a lot of important details for the sake of summarizing each year.

In 2010, I was devastated when I had my heart broken at graduation… and if it wasn’t for the close friends surrounding me at the time, I’m not sure I would have had the motivation to press on the way I did. From 2012-2015, I lost 3 of my grandparents – something that is inevitable for all of us, but I hope that each of you are ready for that day to come and make the most of your time with them until then. In 2016, I had to give up my pets for adoption by a family back south after a strange living predicament put us in that situation. At the end of that year, I found out that my trust had been violated in the worst way, and that I would have to go through the awful process of divorce / annulment / starting all over. In 2017-2018, after letting the dust settle on everything that had taken place, it took a variety of antidepressants and counselors to get me through the process and back to who most know me to be on a regular basis.

You never know what can happen in one year, or ten. The struggles and smiles are equally worth it, as they all help mold you into the person you are for the long run. This last decade for me was filled with epic trips, incredible opportunities, and people I will cherish for life. I don’t know about you all, but I can’t wait to see what I get to talk about in 2030.

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It might not make sense right now…

“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.” – Hippocrates

The recurring theme surrounding the past couple years for our generation is acknowledging that life is MUCH harder than what the movies and TV shows of old made it out to be. Often times, we won’t be able to mentally put together how things landed where they did – and when we try, it can often be looked at as a failure rather than a tough lesson taught on the way to the real success we had in mind. 


Take careers, for instance. Many parents and mentors of ours spent their entire adult lives with the same company, working their way up to the top – and as our peers demonstrate, that certainty doesn’t mean much to the majority of us craving adventure and something new with every page we turn and post we share. Friends often laugh when they talk about my work history, because to anyone over the age of 40 the thought of changing industries, let alone companies, over the span of a few years terrifies certain personality types. However, these ventures have created chapters in my book of life I never thought possible – and even just this weekend, I managed to apply something I learned from an area completely unrelated to hospitality to the newest challenge at hand in an effort to grow our business in a new way.


Relationships, this one is clear – no one sees coming.the damage that we get dealt, and sometimes even deal ourselves. Sure, there are some couples that have fairy tale stories come true of finding their better half in high school and miraculously finding ways to rekindle that love throughout the years. For the rest of us, we cling to song lyrics that explain how our future significant other will get a heart that has been through absolute hell, one that may have been broken in several places but eventually figured out a way to heal. That is, if we manage to work ourselves up to the task of committing to someone once more after the amount of pain we have gone through in the past. Even then, requiring that we manage to survive the current dating culture of swiping right before a proper introduction and hoping we don’t get “ghosted” in the process… or even end up doing the ghosting ourselves after a few dates lacking the “thing” you were hoping to find amidst that time spent together.


Through all of the hardships we endure and put others through, the one piece of the puzzle that stands out in resolution is the ability to show grace and compassion in a moment when others may find it rather non-self serving at a time when the status quo calls for the opposite. A little over two years ago, I was blown away at the message I received from an old friend, who told me that she decided to double down and take a serious look at her faith once more – because of the example I showed her by clinging to my own faith in moments where others would undoubtedly choose selfishness, anger, and resentment as an appropriate response. The odd thing to me was that I couldn’t make sense of it – in my mind, I was simply trying to do what I thought best in a hellish situation… bearing a cross, if you will, so that others didn’t have to hold that weight on their shoulders as lives were being completely upended.


Through all of the self-help books, talks, medications – we have to realize that there is no “perfect” way to bounce back from the hardships we encounter. However, there is clearly something to be said for finding a way to open up about the frustration (writing music, blogging, even calling up an old friend) and the relief that comes from pressing Send to put it out there for whoever may also be able to relate and appreciate. Keeping things deep in our hearts only postpones the inevitable outbursts and breakdowns that truly need to take place in order to move on and build something even better for yourself. Whether it be a gym routine, therapy sessions, time on retreat – pursue what you know to be good for your soul, and don’t let any of the ridiculous distractions of our society stand in your way. 


The one thing I wish I could say to myself throughout the last few years is simply this: It might not make sense now, but it will. I promise it will.

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Let’s talk about something that sucks.

On a day where we celebrate the paternal figures in our lives, and the many ways in which they positively affect the quality of that life… some of us are facing an uphill battle. It isn’t always the most obvious thing, because this is the type of sensitive topic most would prefer to bury deep down in lieu of sharing it with anyone – even closest friends.

For some, the battle is coming to terms mentally/spiritually with the fact that we are not in control when it comes to the time and place we can become a parent. It tends to take two to tango in this equation, and there are certainly cases all around us of couples that have very different opinions than their partner on whether attempting to raise a child is what they’re called to do. While one would assume that the view on such a topic is something to be clarified early on in courtship, life circumstances and other mental barriers can absolutely interfere with two people openly sharing their dreams and desires. In several instances, this will result in the end of some relationships that no one could see coming from the outside – or at the very least, produce tension in a couple that is unexpected given how “perfect” everything tends to appear on social media.

In some instances, couples equally long for that responsibility in their life, but have to acknowledge a set order of preceding events (house buying, finances in order, engagement/marriage, etc.) before making a true attempt. Now, some will say that the social expectations have started to change – and that is usually in part to God gifting someone with a new life to care for sooner than the human “plan”/anticipation. While everyone should always respond lovingly and with care to those who find themselves in that type of spot, I think it’s safe to say that many still highly value following a more standard structure of building their family if given that option. Unfortunately, that process can take a substantial amount of time, and as strong as we like to think we all are – there are some who will break down along the way and need a helping hand to get through it.

For some, it may be a frustrating development to find out that conceiving a child is physically more difficult than what school taught you years ago. While you may long for that feeling of parenthood yourself, some bizarre medical reason may be standing in your way that causes you to question God’s will. Given the nature of these medical issues, it has often been society’s response to make those experiencing difficulty feel out of place, awkward, and sometimes even unwelcome in exchanges with those who have no issues conceiving. As a result, friends we never expected to see in a dark place all of a sudden seem distant, lost, and expressing emotion that we can’t relate to. In a time where communication seems abundant around us, it is this type of honest and open communication that becomes lost in translation – which society MUST admit is a problem needing to be addressed.

What is just as frustrating for those desperate for a family is having to go through the unbelievable barriers in place when trying to adopt a child. As a society, we tend to make the mountain of adoption not worth the climb for some couples – because the legal and financial gymnastics (among other things in the process) are too much for some to overcome. Though we have gratefully seen several success stories with friends in this realm, acknowledgement that they went through “hell and back” to make it happen can go a long way – and hugging/encouraging those who have faced the answer of “no” enough times to want to give up is just as much of a priority.

A final version of struggle that I think more people are familiar with (unfortunately) is witnessing/experiencing parental figures choose otherwise than to care for the children they chose to bring into this world. Neglect and abuse are much more visible signs of harm to a person’s wellbeing than what was mentioned previously, so society has been able to step in and address the needs of these families much faster over the years. Nevertheless, it is an avenue of misery for some… but also, I hope, an opportunity for those looking to share their love in a place they probably never thought they would look.

The TL:DR version of this? Be enormously grateful for what you have. That online post sharing pictures and talking about your parent should never replace an honest conversation in person/over the phone with them about how much they truly mean to you. Most importantly, at least with what I’ve mentioned today… always be checking in on your friends and loved ones. They may not feel comfortable sharing their battle with you at first, but reminding them that they are loved and appreciated will always help right the ship.

Love you guys.