The complex question of existence.

My grandmother had a comment the other day, as Chelsea and I drove up to visit with her, that caught me completely off guard. “Do you ever have that feeling – it comes and goes – when you start to wonder if you truly exist in this moment?” She then followed up the statement by paying me an incredible compliment, stating that by listening to my recording that I sent her of me playing the piano that she felt reminded that she most certainly exists – and in the best way possible.

On one hand, it scared the crap out of me. I never want my Nana to feel like that, and I want to do everything in my power to make her feel loved, appreciated, empowered – anything to help her feel like she does exist in this present moment (rather than the past that we enjoy reflecting on). In undergrad, most of us go through the core course that has us reflect on “I think, therefore I am” (Descartes) – but we often don’t take the time to truly ponder philosophical battles internally as the years go by faster and faster.

On the other hand, she was able to put into different words what some of us with mental health battles can often not describe to our therapists and doctors. There are indeed times in our lives when – even for a mere few minutes in the afternoon – there is some imbalance (call it chemical, emotional, spiritual) when we feel like we are simply observing life happening all around us, rather than being active participants. This may not actually be a lack of “existence” per se, but with word association you can quickly reach a more precise definition of the feeling – that sometimes, we feel like we don’t matter, that what we do with our day may not impact others at all. Thankfully, there are many opportunities to course correct ourselves into understanding the vast opportunities we have at our disposal on a daily basis… but it doesn’t negate the fact that the feeling will persist.

It would seem that the older generations have struggled with this pandemic and the mental struggles that result in a completely different way than most, in part because they have been so accustomed to frequent interactions with their children / grandkids / extended family that have either been in new formats (i.e. Zoom/video) or simply nonexistent if they struggle to figure out how to utilize the technology we “youngins” rely on so easily to get us through periods of quarantine and/or isolation. Since our society continues to move away from old school letters in the mail and other traditional ways of reminding our older family members how much we love them… it is up to us to step up and find new ways to incorporate their presence / existence into our daily lives.

I guess the point of this rambling today is… check in with all of your loved ones, family and those who feel like family. Remind them in creative ways that you appreciate them – for me, it was discovering that a simple YouTube link with some of my favorite songs I have learned over the years would put the biggest smile on her face.

The link to one of those is below.

Positivity in a toxic climate.

Joe, I’m sorry that everyone is treating you this way. You have lived a wonderful life, filled with blessings and tragedies, and deserve to be somewhere peaceful making the most of what time you have left on this earth with your closest family and friends. Your resolve to make the United States a better place is admirable (whether we agree on any of the ways you plan on accomplishing that or not) and should continue to be commended. It really does bother me that so many in our society resort to hurling insults about your family and the personal obstacles you’ve faced instead of spending more time learning about the vision you have for our country.

Donald, I’m sorry that you’re in this mess too. You seem intent on staying as active as you can, and involving a ton of your family in the process – while I’m sure many of them love and support you, it must take such a toll mentally and physically. As it is with every disaster society faces every few years, you didn’t ask for the opportunity to lead a country through a pandemic – any of us would age 10 years in the span of a single year when trying to do what you have been tasked with. While your demeanor may not resonate well with many in this country, there is something to be said about the strength you showcase in many areas of life as you try to find ways for our country to rebound from the disaster of COVID-19.

Jo, Howie, Brian, Brock, Gloria, Don, and even Kanye… I am SO so sorry that our country can not mature enough to handle dialogue between more than two parties. You have gone above and beyond to get your names to appear on ballots throughout the country, even with so many people putting you down and trying to convince you that the attempt is futile. While many of you embrace platforms that could be considered too radical for much of the country to embrace right now, you are to be commended for sticking your neck out and taking criticism from all sides to try and do the right thing. I sleep better at night knowing there are people like you out there taking it on the chin while climbing uphill in the battle to bring dignity and fairness back to our election process.

You see, it is incredibly easy to get along with people (and even possibly pay them a compliment) yet still disagree with much of their platform and values. While I may share a meme or two that poke fun at some candidates, I also reason with my conscience on a regular basis and get down on my knees to pray for all those running for office as much as I can remember to. By stark contrast, the amount of funds being spent on mailers, spam messages, and commercials spewing catchphrases and slander by Republicans and Democrats is downright horrific, and should motivate all of us to be better.

What does that look like though? For some, it will mean taking the couple weeks of voting to volunteer at local polling centers to help the senior citizens who have done so for decades and have already done their part. For others, it will take a very honest and open conversation with their loved ones about the consequences of trying to run for local office because they feel that it is their calling. Though it has always been looked upon as an honor to serve, the conversations and culture surrounding holding office in 2020 is so toxic that it is scaring away many people (like myself) from considering such a run.

For most of us, being better implies that we need to be more thoughtful about the content we put out for the world to see – be it on our Facebook, Twitter, or front lawn. While it becomes quite comical at times to fall into the black hole that Reddit threads and photoshopped candidate memes can be… we as citizens of this great nation have an incredible chance to show the world that the federal election outcome this year will not reflect what we as a country want as our future – and it will start with our careful selection at the city, county, and state levels. Do just as much research about the neighbors running for city council, and have a conversation with them if you get the opportunity. Each small step will propel us further to a political climate that will make us believe it once again when we sing that we “are proud to be an American”.

Chasing that *almost* indescribable feeling.

When the water in the shower hits the perfect temperature to wake you up in the best mood.

When you hug your significant other as you walk in the door and smell their scent, the one you became obsessed with.

When the air hits your face just right as you put the car on cruise near the ocean.

When the blanket is tucked perfectly around you on the couch, letting the white noise of the television lead you into dreamland.

When a friend makes you laugh so hard, it makes all the worries of the day run right off your shoulders.

When you experience something so powerful – someone’s birth, someone’s death, someone’s conversion, someone’s recovery… that it brings you to tears.

When the grease of your family’s comfort food hits your gut and tells you that the time has come for a delightful food coma.

When a stranger approaches you and commends you on a job well done… even though you had no idea they were paying attention to your work.

The smell of freshly cut grass as you wander outside to throw a ball around with the family member you don’t get to see nearly enough.

Sitting on a porch swing with a loved one, letting the stress of the day fade away into the constant and reassuring rocking back and forth with your confidante.

To the friends who are battling to stay mentally healthy, I hope you know that you are not alone. There are so many moments worth getting up and starting your day for – don’t let the dark thoughts of depression and anxiety get in your way of experiencing them. It sounds like a major hurdle to open up and talk about it with someone, but I am always a simple message or call away whenever you’re ready.

Now – go chase that feeling.

Be that person.

The one who opens the door for a stranger.

The one who helps the elderly cross an intersection.

The one who stays late at work to help a coworker with a tough time.

The one who calls a friend at any hour of the day just to chat.

The one who offers to grocery shop for someone who has health issues.

The one who buys food for the woman on the corner in need of a hot meal.

The one who takes their friend to the train nowhere near your destination.

The one who demonstrates patience in an argument someone else heats up.

The one to give the jacket off your shoulders to someone you’ve never met.

Whatever the circumstance may be – don’t hesitate to be the person with the determined mindset, the heart of gold, and the desire to help. This world could become better overnight with just a little push from each of us every day.

Full of gratitude.

Just wanted to take a minute to thank each and every one of you who have been an influence and inspiration to get where we are today.

To Vera, Kendall, Brianna, Adam, Kevin, and so many more – for being some of the first phone calls and conversations to remind me that there is a light at the end of it all (even if we hadn’t caught up in a while), and to keep striving to live the good life and let blessings come when they’re supposed to. We have all crossed paths in very unique ways as our lives go on, and I hope we continue to make the most of any time together we can in the future.

To Matt, John, Brett, Laura, Brian, Sam, and others – for being the shoulders to lean on when I needed to vent, for being the beacons of honesty to hold me accountable and help prove to myself that I am capable of overcoming any obstacle being thrown my way. Hard conversations were had, and they served an incredible purpose to remind each of us why we are here and what we are meant to pursue.

To Jared, Charlie, Jesse, Kevin, Matt, Reed, Jay, and all the new friends that were made along the way as part of the healing process – your friendships and time spent are treasured by me more than you can possibly imagine. Some of the most lonely of nights and weekends were quickly changed around by random texts to go on adventures and jumpstart that switch in me that needed to be brought back to life.

To Abbot Placid, Jen, Cory, Noah, Whitney, Thom, Randy, Lino, and all those who had their own special ways of keeping my faith as strong as ever, and finding amazing opportunities for it to grow even in circumstances that were less than ideal. The benefit of the one true faith being universal is that I have always felt right at home no matter where I ended up going for Mass, praise and worship, adoration, or simply a strong message on the radio as I finished my long drive home from work.

To my family – for never stopping believing in me, for always being just a call away (even if I was living an entire day’s drive away), and always keeping me in thought and prayer as I trudged through the chaos of the last few years. Words cannot properly express how much you all mean to me, and I hope you know that. It means the world to be living close to everyone again, especially as our big family continues to get even bigger.

Most of all, to Chelsea – for being an absolute rock for me to depend on when I needed it the most, for being someone whose love I never thought I was deserving of, for being the perfect piece to my bizarre puzzle of life to make it complete. A week and a half later, I still can’t believe that I found my very own Disney princess to love and cherish for the rest of my life.

2020 may have tried to get in everyone’s way with what plans had been made, but I couldn’t be happier with how we were able to stick it do COVID-19 and still pull off the unthinkable – a perfect wedding on 7/11. It ended up being a day where the thought of a pandemic was the last thing on people’s minds, and it was an incredible celebration of friendship, family, and sacrament that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. To everyone who made it possible – I can’t thank you enough, and look forward to the opportunities ahead to return the favor tenfold.

Your moral compass.

This is a concept that has been around that deserves a revisit during this trying time in our society. Definition: noun

  1. used in reference to a person’s ability to judge what is right and wrong and act accordingly.

Ignore any of the misleading conservative / liberal connotations, whether something makes you red or blue, right or left, traditional or progressive. All of us are human – and that is a concept everyone should be taking to heart in the frustration that has been the year of 2020. The very idea of being human (and all the blessings/trials that come with it) should be the centering force in our moral compass as we walk through each day.

If I get worked up over a vehicle that has cut me off (as I do nearly every day in Charlotte), I’m not upset because this person is “fitting a stereotype” for their level of melanin, I’m upset because in my view – the person is not exercising decency on the road. My moral compass first swings in the direction that their action is inexcusable, that they are potentially causing others to react hastily and cause a scary scenario on the local highway.

Then, I remind myself that there are times when such actions may be justifiable to me personally – that person’s spouse could be going into labor with their child, a family member may be in need of aid, or the various areas of construction in town are causing them to run late for a close friend’s wedding. Should this person truly be in violation of the rules and simply endangering others, it will only be a matter of time before the proper authority over that scenario is able to assist in reminding them of the commitment we have to others on the road. I tell myself that life goes on outside of my own little bubble, and I get back to singing along to whatever song I have playing in my own car.

These small interactions that can get hyped up should be the least of our worries, and our magnetic base in our moral compass is there to remind us of exactly that. While we don’t always take the compass out of our pocket to examine the specific way to lead our troops, we all are aware that there is a certain level of decency that we expect humans to show one another – no matter what the situation may be. It is an inherently human characteristic to be compassionate to others who may be facing a situation we either A) know exactly the type of pain/stress that accompanies it, or B) have no idea and can only speculate how terrible of a time they must be going through.

In the latter, it appears that many in our society have fallen prey to the claws of media (mainstream/social) and to some extent ignorance (distraction by other means) so that the compassion falls by the way side in what we think is a legitimate excuse. If someone is trying to peacefully protest, your compass should tell you to take the time to LISTEN to them. You may not agree that their reasons are valid, but your show of decency at least demonstrates to them that their voices can be heard and that they are indeed entitled to that level of freedom in this country. You will be surprised at how they are just as upset as you are with the rioting and looting that has occurred in an attempt to undermine their cause.

As I’ve stated before to those who have asked – I am clearly in no position to weigh in on many of the issues that are prevalent today. The closest thing I have encountered to racism on my behalf is being granted an interview for my position because of my last name – Torres – where a hiring manager was trying to prioritize a minority hire, and was clearly disappointed to see my genetic blend of primarily Italian/German walk through the door (the story of how our family got the last name to be told at a later time). When it comes to the issues of interactions with police and other societal pressures that have been put on people of color throughout the centuries, I can’t speak from experience – and I most definitely cannot justify my own speculation as an excuse to not take it more seriously.

Now is the time to listen – or at the very least, make yourself available to listen to those around you if they aren’t ready to open up yet. I don’t know if you’ve turned on a phone or television in the last month or two… but there is finally a conversation producing results in this area rather than it being one-sided with our brothers and sisters in Christ feeling unheard. If you don’t know where to start (it’s okay, I didn’t really have much of an idea either) but resources are being shared across the globe for us – and you can ALWAYS devote your time and effort to where it will always make an impact, such as the food banks and other non-profits that rely on volunteers to make any sort of impact in our communities.

Wake up tomorrow determined to make a difference. I’ll see you there.

There is no easy way to say this…

We are all idiots. All of us.

Falling repeatedly into the media traps with misleading headlines, click bait articles, things that sound promising but never turn out to be what we expected…

It does not have to be this way.

Sure, social media and the interwebs are our lifeblood at this point – it is the easiest way to communicate with family and friends, to announce new additions to the family or post pictures of various celebrations.

It is also the easiest way to put a target on your back by making a simple comment that seems harmless (or rather quite intentional) at the time. You become a villain to others just because of having an opinion that APPEARS to contrast with theirs, and it draws lines in the sand where they should never exist (seriously, when did our wellbeing start to depend on people unfriending/unfollowing us?).

For example: you use the phrase “all lives matter” because you genuinely believe those words in the context that you take them to be in. However, to someone reading them who has seen persecution in a way that you could never relate, they cannot fathom that to be true when their life experience has shown that to be the opposite. Saying that you have amazing friends, even best friends, who happen to be a different skin color (as I am certainly guilty of in the past) is not your get-out-of-the-argument-free card when it comes to this discussion.  

Another example: you claim to be “pro-life” in the sense that you believe life should be sacred and valued from conception to natural death. However, to someone who has seen horrendous tragedy in their lives and may not have been raised in the same moral code as you – it is outrageous to them that you would tout yourself as “more righteous” than them just because making those major decisions in life has come a lot more naturally for you. Moreover, if you use that phrase and follow it up with a statement that attacks those trying to immigrate to a new country or those trying to fight their way out of extreme poverty… you, by not showing the mercy and forgiveness bestowed on you by the Creator, are a hypocrite.

One more example: you claim to be “anti-marijuana” while trying to vote for farmer’s rights and supporting tobacco lobbyists in each state, when little did you know that it is becoming the one crop that can save their small businesses in the states where it has been legalized. While actively stating your opinion on this “drug” that has now been proven to tackle some of the most complicated health issues our existence has seen, you try to seek sympathy from others when someone close to you loses their addition battle to a pharmaceutical that could very well have been avoided. There is a better way through the madness, and it starts by admitting (and feeling) fault one way or another.

Without empathy and compassion on both sides of each topic in a conversation, the opportunity for progress between each other is non-existent… and for some of you/us, it might require admitting that the lack of compassion has really been a one-way street for quite some time. Resorting to terms that the media shoves down our throats rather than using our OWN words to describe our OWN feelings gets us nowhere.

Be better. I promise I am trying to do the same.

Stop the nonsense.

You, the one shaming your friends for sharing information they came across online in one form or another. You, the one “threatening” to unfriend people you at least somewhat care about because something they posted may have inaccurate data to go along with it. EVERYONE IS FRUSTRATED. EVERYONE WANTS ANSWERS.

What is this righteous horse you sit on? Instead of making fun of others or calling them terms that accomplish nothing, why don’t you take the time to educate them with what you know? Not a single one of you has the solution, but is quick to the draw with a meme or snarky comment as someone is trying to get to the bottom of why we are in this mess. People are collapsing mentally all over the world, and all we can do is fight over when and how is “appropriate” to give everyone a source of income once again after volunteering their livelihoods as a means for limiting the spread of COVID-19.

It doesn’t matter if what they share sounds ludicrous – there are far more bizarre truths in this world that people are afraid to admit (perfect example: how the two party system is antiquated for our needs). It also shouldn’t matter to you if they didn’t take the time to thoroughly vet the credentials of the people in the interview they watched and shared, because you can’t pretend for two seconds that you do the same with everything you put on your personal profile. For crying out loud, this is simply some of society’s plea to have the right kind of conversation looking for the light at the end of the tunnel (and to hold those accountable for wrongdoing in the event there was any).

If one of your friends or family chooses to share content that you find misleading or inaccurate, do the responsible thing and educate/inform with valuable information that may let the conversation dive deeper. Belittling our neighbors is the MOST irresponsible thing we can be doing at this moment in time (and trust me, I remind myself all the time not to join in). Show respect and love in each interaction, and maybe – just maybe – we will have a chance at keeping hope for humanity alive in this mess.

End rant.

Political Homelessness.

I came across this term the other day during the constant quarantine scrolling, and it really struck a chord with me. There isn’t much that seems to properly define my views when it comes to our chaotic world… but it is a safe assumption to say that I feel politically homeless.

Our society has continued to evolve and expand throughout the years, and yet for some reason our “fearless leaders” continue to convince us that the two-party system actually represents our best interests at heart. They are quick to spend the necessary resources to convince those around them to disregard Libertarians, Green Party members, Tea Party believers, and anyone else who is willing to sacrifice their time and money to challenge the status quo. I don’t know about you… but it is starting to feel like an awful amount of suppression is being applied to our friends and families.

Well, let us dive deeper into the emotions of Ben for a second. Ben believes that marijuana in every form should be legalized – something members of both parties struggle with at times because of their lobbying interests, in addition to their feelings about those who are incarcerated for that type of crime. Ben believes in the sanctity of life from conception until natural death – choosing to help and care for someone no matter WHAT phase of life they are in – which breaks up into multiple arguments, which of course have several sides and stories to compliment each. Ben believes that everyone has the right to arm themselves… but that doesn’t mean automatic weapons should be in the list of options for individual home purchase. Ben believes that the process to become American should be one that every immigrant should go through when they’re ready – but that it is our neighborly duty to care for others when they are often coming to our country to escape an evil from the place they used to call home.

As you can probably determine on your own – with each statement several of you desired to high five me in one half of a sentence, then you probably lowered your hand as I finished the same train of thought – and vice versa. I (very openly) voted third party in 2016 for President, and created a state/county/city ballot that mostly resembled the color of purple by the amount of times I crossed sides. I’m voting for a person to fit the assigned role, not the party and the nonsense they try to shove down our throats. The parties are corrupt, flawed, and in desperate need of a generational overhaul – this applies to BOTH the Republican and Democrat parties, so don’t flatter yourself if you think I’m attacking just one side here.

From what we have seen this week, it is apparent that our “only” options for the coming election are to put one of two gentlemen (using that term loosely) in the White House for 4 years because the skewed format of our politics demands it. If you think my conscience will be clear voting for either a businessman who only puts himself first with each thought, or a man whose demeanor implies that he’s been through enough hell and is ready to be moved into a nursing home… I can’t say that I’m going to sleep well at night knowing that the country I love so much prefers one or the other as the leader of the free world. As Americans, we have a duty to each other to challenge when something isn’t right… and this is my simple way of stating just that. As a God-fearing individual, I take on an additional moral code that obliges me to speak up for those who may not have a loud enough voice in their fight.

Please do not be afraid to speak up if you share some of the same feelings. If the statements made here are enough to unfriend/unfollow, I get it – not everyone has the guts to say what they truly think when most of our content posted these days is the perfectly filtered shot of whatever we want others to be consuming. My suspicion is that I’m not alone in this, and that with enough effort (all we have right now is time, right?) we could make a dent in the current operation that constantly disregards our best interests.

Regardless, I hope this gives everyone some food for thought as we try to figure out this thing called life together. Don’t forget that I love each of you, and will always strive to do what is best for all of us.

A decade.

Last night, the end of another week in quarantine, the fiancee and I stumbled across an old football game being replayed on TV – one I distinctly remembered watching with old roommates at a crappy bar back in 2010. The memory came roaring back like it was yesterday, and sent me down a path of reflection of how the last decade turned out in life.

2010 – I graduated college, and immersed myself in all things Charlotte. Being newly single after a relationship that lasted all of undergrad, I had a bit more time on my hands to explore what I was supposed to be doing with my life. Having to settle for a job at first was alright in my book, mainly because I was able to live and work with several close friends I had made over the previous few years.

2011 – This year showed me how high risk could reap high reward. What started out as a kid looking for his big break (and actually using his degree) turned into running the floor of the hottest nightclub in town, where everyone who was someone (or trying to be someone) would pull up to each night. I was shown the value of a confident appearance, being told to “get a credit card, go buy a new suit and a nice watch… and see what happens next.” (spoiler alert, I got the chance to go back to work for this individual later on)

2012 – Approached by a team looking for someone to help propel their brand, I slid over to a concept I found incredibly unique – part hookah bar, part cocktail lounge, part small plates/desserts. As the DNC brought traffic into Charlotte, I found myself continuously surrounded by all kinds of influential types as the small business atmosphere in Charlotte shone bright for all to see. This venture allowed for my relationships, personal and professional, to grow exponentially with the amount of networking and opportunity that opened up for me as a result.

2013 – My climb up the ladder in hospitality seemed to reach a high point that summer, taking over the operation of two locations in Charlotte that touted another unique environment – part barbershop, part speakeasy. As fascinating as this was, it was also a bit before its time in a town that was still trying to find its own identity. I also learned in this venture that not all employers operate the same way, and there are some who I fundamentally disagree with… which led me to question whether or not the world of small business / hospitality was the one for me.

2014 – I took getting laid off for the first time in my life as a sign that it was time to change direction. At the encouragement of many saying “you are already doing sales, it simply isn’t part of your title,” I went through the lengthy process of becoming a specialist in the software world and began traveling extensively outside of NC. This opened my eyes to a completely different side of ambition, as it hit me that I had never really had the chance to use my work as a means for going and exploring more of the country. An epic party happened in the fall, which I’ll dive more into later, and then the next few years became a chapter of their own.

2015 – Packed up and moved to Austin, Texas… I’m sure my family thought I was crazy, but it seemed like the perfect amount of crazy to pursue at the time. Met an incredible new group of friends, co-workers, and customers alike as I completed my training at the top of my class and started taking offers from regions on which territory I should move to and sell in (since a vet had unfortunately taken the Austin territory right before I became eligible). The one year as a Texas resident was action-packed to say the least, and the appeal of that area (not just queso, tacos, and BBQ) has gotten me to come back and visit as often as I have been able to.

2016 – The New England team was rather convincing (work team, not the damn Pats), and I drove halfway across the country with barely any stops to set up shop just outside downtown Boston. I started driving 3-4 hours a day visiting clientele in states I had never set foot in before, learning along the way that sales needed its own demeanor and confidence in order to break the barriers customers would have in place. With some growth, I became one of the best when it came to CRM products – and naturally, began taking every store visit as an opportunity to find new local hotspots, tourist must-sees, and scenery that makes any magazine jealous it can’t capture the full essence of.

2017 – The true definition of “new year, new me” as I found myself single again after a lengthy relationship – this time, in a city where I had few friends and no family. For some bizarre reason, I saw that as an incredible opportunity to do some self-discovery and moved to a different Boston neighborhood to start all over. By the end of the year, after a variety of trials and tribulations that need a book of their own, I had a badass apartment and adopted a badass cat to keep me company. On top of that, I met a girl who I couldn’t stop thinking about… and the irony was, she lived back in Charlotte.

2018 – The year of depression. I realized after some time that I needed to go through the proper channels of therapy and coaching to truly recover from the previous relationship, as well as determine what should come next when it came to work. While it was a fun few years of challenges with R+R, I took a different sales role with a smaller territory in Boston to confirm the suspicion of whether or not it was still something I wanted to do. As I began doing that, I also helped consult with a local sports bar that needed help remodeling and then selling… and realized just how much I missed the energy and passion of food and beverage. By the summer, I cut ties with software sales altogether to dive deeper into the world of Boston bars – bartending here and there and becoming extremely self-sufficient with every side hustle in the book. As our relationship grew, I knew that the next step was to move closer to Chelsea (as well as my family), so I started exploring a variety of options closer to home.

2019 – Interviews came and went, and I was a little frustrated that while I often got to the final round with a group… something would be said and/or done that would make me question the integrity or mission of the company – and I would respectfully bow out of consideration. Ironically, one group wanted to take me out to dinner to talk numbers after several meetings and assessments – and after giving them a list of options in Charlotte, they elected to go to a restaurant that an old mentor operated. Sure enough, at the end of dinner – I spotted him at the end of the bar, and we caught up for old times sake. That apparently sparked the fire that needed to happen, because a few days later I was in the corporate office hearing their pitch about their concept that they would like my help with. After all these back and forth conversations with new companies and offerings, imagine my surprise to find such comfort in conversation with old friends who I had worked with YEARS ago (the ones who challenged me in 2011, that is). For the next year, living Uptown and walking to work enabled me to see family more frequently, hang out with old friends once more, and especially develop my relationship with Chelsea to the point where I wanted to propose.

2020 – Here we are, in the midst of a pandemic that no one knows how to handle appropriately, and all I can do is reflect on all the crazy things that have happened along the way. Now, as you can clearly tell, I left out a lot of important details for the sake of summarizing each year.

In 2010, I was devastated when I had my heart broken at graduation… and if it wasn’t for the close friends surrounding me at the time, I’m not sure I would have had the motivation to press on the way I did. From 2012-2015, I lost 3 of my grandparents – something that is inevitable for all of us, but I hope that each of you are ready for that day to come and make the most of your time with them until then. In 2016, I had to give up my pets for adoption by a family back south after a strange living predicament put us in that situation. At the end of that year, I found out that my trust had been violated in the worst way, and that I would have to go through the awful process of divorce / annulment / starting all over. In 2017-2018, after letting the dust settle on everything that had taken place, it took a variety of antidepressants and counselors to get me through the process and back to who most know me to be on a regular basis.

You never know what can happen in one year, or ten. The struggles and smiles are equally worth it, as they all help mold you into the person you are for the long run. This last decade for me was filled with epic trips, incredible opportunities, and people I will cherish for life. I don’t know about you all, but I can’t wait to see what I get to talk about in 2030.