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Who Is Your D-Wade?

This question has been repeating itself over the last 24 hours as I watch the Budweiser tribute to the basketball legend who is hanging it up after this season. Some content mastermind, who clearly appreciates the person Dwayne has been off the court throughout his life, came up with an idea for a video that should really ask that question in each of us. Who is it that continues to inspire/motivate us day in and day out?

For myself, I feel like there are several people who can fit that narrative – for a variety of reasons. In this section, I’ll start with my parents… for it continues to blow my mind how much vision they had to move our family when the opportunities presented themselves. Keep in mind – I was born in Flint, Michigan. In present day Flint, an actual city in the United States with tens of thousands of people… the water isn’t safe to drink. The government uses this town in headlines merely for political influence, rather than trying to actually help the people that so desperately need their leadership. The military uses many abandoned properties in town for target practice, because they see an opportunity of their own in what can sometimes look like a wasteland. Now, in no way am I trying to say that my parents were able to foresee the future… but they didn’t feel like they were called to be there for the long term. I can’t help but be thankful that my family was led through prayer all the way to where we are now.

After growing up as a small child in the Ohio Valley, they let me know that my teenage years would be spent in North Carolina… as they felt the Lord leading them somewhere that had more promise of nice weather, work to pursue, you name it. As a kid, I was SO bummed – why on earth would they want to move us far away from extended family and all my friends after we had gotten into such a nice groove along the Ohio River? …fast forward several years, and I turned to my dad as a college graduate thanking him for taking that risk (without having finalizing a job at the time), because I had found out that our old hometown has been the scene of some of the biggest drug busts in the country… and that most of the people involved were my age. Talk about a rush of gratitude as I started my professional career in the always growing city I have recently started calling home again – Charlotte.

In a manner of speaking, this is comparing apples and oranges. D-Wade has had a lucrative career and managed to be a source of motivation to us all by putting a lot of his income back to the community that raised him up. As much as he may have liked to pursue that dream, my dad kept his incredible tennis talents as a hobby throughout the years as he sought his real dream of being someone to listen and counsel his local community through all kinds of frustrations and disappointments, in hopes of lifting them up to better places in life. My mom was on a fast track to upper management with General Motors, but felt called to teach what she knew to a family she hoped to be blessed with – and through all of that, she has seven children that may not enjoy math as much as she does… but that are incredibly blessed and talented in many other ways.

I suppose this small story is simply trying to say: who motivates you by the choices they’ve made through life, or how they’ve responded to the curveballs consistently being thrown their way? Too often, it seems that we are only taking the opportunity to look at stories of motivation and influence *after* the fact – when someone retires or passes away. A small goal of mine is to change that narrative by constantly sharing content of inspiring stories that are active in our world, in hopes we can jump on the train while they’re still moving and play our own part accordingly.

For starters, check out Kyle Korver’s article titled “Privileged” – a powerful commentary on something completely different in professional basketball that no one likes to talk about. Then read up on Jesse Cole, who was just mentioned in Forbes for his powerful authenticity and what it can mean to your work and purpose. Hit me up to grab a drink sometime, and let’s talk about these more important things in life – or if you’re a friend I’ve made along my travels in the past few years, I’m always up my favorite way to spend a night off: a laugh via FaceTime.

Keep your smile and story infectious as always.

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  • February 26, 2019February 26, 2019
  • by Ben Torres

People love to ask the question… where is home these days? Where do you call home? We seem to develop the notion that one’s home defines a lot more about the person than what ends up being the case. “Oh, so you’re a Yankee…” “Oh, so you’re from the South…”

Will everyone stop and admit that 95% of the stereotypes that we try to associate with these hometowns are absolute nonsense? I can say without a doubt that there are THOUSANDS of people from the “Bible Belt” who tend to be downright crude and inhospitable, just as there are THOUSANDS of people from the North who actually have souls and give a crap about others and their well-being.

Don’t let where you were born or raised define you – this isn’t the early 20th century, and even the grandparents that are still walking among us seem to have embraced change when you ask them. Whenever I get asked these questions, so those unfamiliar with my background can find a way to put Ben in their own “boxes of understanding”… I simply start telling my story, whether they like it or not.

I was born in Flint, Michigan. Yes, that Flint – the town devastated by tragedy that our corrupt political system chooses to make their playing card as it suits them, only to abandon its residents at the end of a campaign instead of actually helping them. My mother was working as an electrical engineer for General Motors at the time – because after all, that was the definition of a successful person who had graduated from college in the Midwest in the 80’s.

My early years were then spent in the Ohio Valley – the Ohio side of the West Virginia panhandle, to be more precise. I started working at the ripe age of 9, taking on a paper route to make enough money to buy my own bike – and even chip in on an actual piano once my skill set was developed enough to graduate from a small keyboard. My mom’s extended family and friends raised me in the tradition of Pittsburgh sports (after all, it was the closest big city), and my claim to that fandom still seems to haunt several of my friends from other parts of the world to this very day.

The family moved to North Carolina when I was in middle school… and I learned the hard way about starting over with friends and life in the midst of puberty. Though NC has now been my place of residence for longer than any other state (not to mention where I went to college and launched my professional career)… it is hard to imagine me saying that this one place alone constitutes my “home”. After all, the last 4 years of my life were spent downing queso in Austin and taking in late nights on the water in Boston – complete opposite environments from anything I had ever known up to this point.

At the end of it all… I just hope that you strive to let your personality, accomplishments, desires, and dreams define who you are – not where you have your mail sent to. As you will find out, the more you explore and the more you converse – you have a lot more in common with the person across the table from you, no matter what impression may have led you otherwise.