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Complete, utter word vomit.

I doubt any of this is going to make sense, but I think it showcases just how bizarre how capable the mind is in wandering all over the spectrum… and I hope it will let my thoughts simmer as I try to continue to be present with my family, my work, and everything else going on in my own life.

Guys, I played music for a school’s first Mass of the year a few days ago. Such joy and excitement on everyone’s faces to be together again… without even the slightest thought of being in danger.

I choked up last night when my oldest choose a book for me to read to her about a character’s first day at school. How, out of all the books, did she pick that one.

The middle child asked to sing lullabies after the longest phase ever of not wanting any of that as part of her bedtime routine. I could barely keep it together for her.

Our youngest started rolling over a couple days ago, and is now laughing at nearly everything his older sisters do – each of these advancements our children make are precious to us, and we try to take as much time as we can to treasure them as they grow.

There are parents who have had those opportunities with their children ripped away in an instant, in a scenario previously only possible in the minds of the worst writers of fiction.

Imagine being a parent expecting to come home, cook dinner, and talk about all the things their child learned that day while at the table together. Instead, they have paparazzi outside their home to catch a glimpse of what used to be – after the worst 24 hours of their lives talking to first responders and the like. They took the beloved “first day” picture this week, and will now have to decide on an picture of their child to use for funeral arrangements. I think most of you know me well enough to know that if this were to be any closer to home than it already is, I would need to be put in a straight jacket – because there is no telling what my response would be to the raw emotion (and I’m already pissed off as is).

No one should ever, ever, be put in this situation. Of course, there are things outside of our control (i.e. natural disasters) where the worst can happen. But this? We have the ability as members of society to make a difference, and yet everyone is so desensitized to this type of incident that many folks are simply going about their lives today. I vividly recall one of my staff members running out the door after getting a phone call so long ago (they grew up around Sandy Hook and knew almost everyone involved), and am appalled that our country has failed to protect some of our most vulnerable all these years later. Flags at half mast for a few days? Cool. Then what?

If your political representatives won’t pick up the phone or respond to your e-mail, make a trip to their office. Knock on the heavy door until security escorts you, and scream at the top of your lungs about how you feel. Show others in your community how much it matters, until something finally clicks in their own heads. There isn’t a single material thing I wouldn’t give up to save the life of a child, and I can only hope that hearts around us can feel warmth once more to share that level of compassion.

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You all keep asking for it…

I don’t know why I keep being asked for my opinions on various political / societal matters, but you get what you ask for.

When people mention a “trickle-down” effect nowadays, they clearly aren’t referring to decisions around money, but rather the impact attitudes at the federal level begin to influence those below them. I have never seen such divisiveness when it comes to local and state elections, and the fact that people stoop to these levels saddens me deeply. The content being put on TV and socials for us to consume regarding each candidate is downright crude, the quality memes – while humorous – do not make up for the fact that it all sucks, and the first Tuesday in November couldn’t come fast enough.

When I talk with people living outside the U.S., it becomes bluntly obvious that the reason for our current chaotic state is because we the people have been complacent and allowed those in power to not only remain in their cozy offices, but enabled them to control the markets and stumble into truly murky waters of what politicians should / shouldn’t do in their spare time (let alone what they do when they’re actually at work). The colonists who founded our country got pissed at the Brits for taxes ranging 5-7%… now go check your IRS paperwork from last year and see what you gave Uncle Sam. Why aren’t we having a modern day tea party reaction to what our government is doing to us?

Most of you should know by now that I despise both of the camps that control this nonsense equally. They are BOTH controlled by people with more money than they know what to do with, whose agendas could not look any more different from the average American. They trot out candidates in the name of democracy, only to then undermine the very idea of democracy throughout the process. Third-party efforts continue to be scrutinized by everyone (and sued to oblivion when they actually pose a threat), even though most are sincere efforts to try and point out the flaws of the two that the majority of our voting population blindly clings to every cycle. Do your neighbors a favor and change your party affiliation on record, because they will keep the status quo as long as 80% of the country identifies with the elephant or donkey. A single party needs just 5% of our nation’s support to guarantee federal funding for future cycles – surely we can agree that would be a good thing to have.

Each of us has love for our community, and there are a variety of ways to show that love – some volunteer their time, some donate funds they can spare, some do a generous combination of both… it all comes from a place deep down of wanting to see things get better for our city / state / country. Please keep that in mind when you jump to respond to the latest viral video about something a candidate may or may not have done 20 years ago (which at this point, how do we even tell if the stories are generated by AI or are actually real). No matter where you live in the United States, put your time and talents where your mouth is if you are truly fed up with the system – don’t sit back and expect a red or blue “wave” in an election cycle to fix anything. Scream the phrase Term Limits until you lose your voice, because without those in place no substantial change will ever take place.

Perhaps, just maybe, if we had servants of the people who returned to the task of caring for those who elect them (and having that desire to care for them be the main reason they run for office)… we would all feel a bit better about where we live than we currently do.

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Why do we expect perfection?

Sorry not sorry, but this is going to be an odd combination of thoughts that have kept me pre-occupied while driving the last couple weeks. The drama that people have created around Olympic opening ceremonies, the turmoil around the disaster of a political season this is, the continued post-pandemic chaos where people are still ridiculed for wearing masks in public… why are we constantly trying to be at odds with one another?

Are these issues well-founded… or is everyone just looking for a reason to be upset with each other? For crying out loud, the Olympic ceremonies haven’t been “normal” in decades. An artistic expression that some may find interesting, some may find beautiful, and some won’t understand – wander into any art gallery these days, and that’s exactly what you’ll find. Does it detract from the goal of celebrating these athletes and what they have worked so hard for? Certainly. However, none of us volunteered to serve on the Paris 2024 Planning Committee – so it really isn’t our place to make this kind of judgment… especially when our children are at risk of losing funding for the programs at school that could help them achieve similar extracurricular goals if they so chose to pursue them. Why don’t you direct your focus there instead?

The subject line implies my thought process over the last few days… why would anyone run for political office at this critical point of our society? Some journalist is going to pull up a story from college about how the candidate did a keg stand freshman year of college, and someone will read their spin on the story and decide something about it was offensive. Instead of focusing on the issues at hand and getting their message out to potentially undecided voters, the campaign has to focus the majority of their time on damage control with something that hasn’t impacted anyone’s lives (and won’t impact anyone) – ever.

We seem to have our minds made up that it is the responsibility of athletes, celebrities, political figures, and the like… to achieve perfection in whatever it is they do. Newsflash – we are human. It is in our nature to make mistakes (just ask Adam and Eve), and it is part of our DNA no matter how much you try to ignore that. We wonder why the pool of options of who to vote for is so abysmal, but we also TERRORIZE whoever steps up and volunteers. Look at how badly past Presidents and high-ranking officials have aged in the past 20 years – we as a society put them through hell and still expect smiling faces, perfect pronunciation, and immaculate decision-making whenever they are in public. It simply can’t happen, but we lean into major media outlets to tell us how we should feel about those mistakes and weird looks, and it creates more of a hellscape in social media AND our actual, very real daily lives when it doesn’t have to.

Children used to dream of becoming professional athletes, and often still do – but now have to decide if paparazzi following their every move is worth the contract they are in pursuit of. We see these insane numbers in the NBA / NFL / MLB, only to then calculate they get about 50% of the number after taxes and fees, have to pay an absurd amount for security to keep themselves and their families safe from the scrutiny (and to those of you sending death threats to people’s homes after they miss a field goal… please get yourself some help)… it makes no sense. Why would anyone volunteer to be the face of any major organization when the backlash has become this fierce? Self-harm and the taking of own lives continues to be a major issue in our society, but we get mocked by others when we try to suggest that pursuing mental health should be a priority for everyone (and that those resources need to be more readily available) – especially for those in precarious positions.

If you got this far in my rambling, I appreciate you. I know you tend to scroll past when I suggest that you vote anything other than Republican or Democrat… but if you continue to believe that one side is better than the other, we are going to be doing this same song and dance in four years – unless a civil war breaks out before then. There are SO MANY OTHER THINGS that deserve our time and attention: the fact that several people can’t get jobs right now because corporations have made the process inaccessible, the fact that there are neighbors of yours who will have to choose tonight between paying a past due bill or feeding their family, the fact that technological advances are crippling our ability to remain decent human beings with purpose… I can go on and on. Come grab a drink and smoke with me sometime on the porch and talk about it if you’d like – but please, stop wasting time spewing nonsense on platforms (keep in mind, this is also a reminder to myself) when we have so many other good things to be doing with our time and talents.

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This is 36.

I emotionally collapse when my daughter asks “do you HAVE to go to work today”? 

When I plug into my work, it brings me incredible amounts of joy – to see the fruits of labor immediately, unlike other industries or career paths. The ideal guest experience is the ultimate pursuit, and getting to craft concepts to that end since the pandemic has truly been a blessing.

I have never felt more politically homeless in my life. Every suggested option for local, state, or federal is brought to us from the depths of Hell.

I often get frustrated with myself for not going to the gym more often, and even more frustrated looking at the time spent during the week searching for times when I could have gone.

I’m reaching the point where alcohol doesn’t do my aching mind or body any favors – but there are other things out there that do, and I’m incredibly grateful for them.

There are days I still refresh the bank app hoping to see an unexpected large sum be deposited into the bank account – yet I have no idea where it would be coming from, because winning the lottery requires playing it more often.

I am very optimistic about the future of the Church, both here and abroad, largely due to the levels of vocations AND laity commitments to bettering our situations no matter what the circumstances may be.

I stood up the “wrong way” this morning and now my back will ache the rest of the day. Getting adjusted at the chiropractor is now considered the ultimate self-care.

I know I’m old when… I have no shirts to wear, because I hate taking the time to iron them – but remain pissed off at my favorite dry cleaners for nearly doubling their prices.

I also know I’m old when all the mainstream music being made today absolutely sucks, yet every playlist pre-2010 has nothing but bangers.

Playing music continues to be the ultimate outlet for stress, pain, joy, you name it – I’m so glad I have kept up with it, even if I don’t get to practice as often, and “practice” these days looks like accompanying Elizabeth as she sings lullabies to everyone.

Regardless of how gloomy our political and societal outlook is, I somehow continue to remain hopeful that with each smile and conversation… I can try to make the day a little bit better for each person I interact with. If we all aimed to do that with our actions and responses this week, I’m pretty confident the impact would be overwhelmingly noticeable.

My thoughts go all over the place, all day every day. Not sure I would have it any other way. This is 36.

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The people have spoken, but no one listens.

Citizens of the United States have a variety of thoughts and feelings regarding the midterm elections that just took place, but an exit poll question was shared on several news networks last week that no one seems to want to keep talking about.

Over SEVENTY PERCENT of voters said that their preference is to have NEITHER Biden or Trump as candidates in the 2024 election. That percentage implies a substantial development from both major groups – of course parties can be dissatisfied with certain candidates, but this matchup in 2020 was one of the most polarizing of our time. We have a very clear majority that want to move on from this madness, and yet the media (along with those in charge) continue to shove this narrative down our throats. These men are too old, too controversial, and (I’m a broken record here) should be at home with families instead of injecting more chaos into our government.

I actively studied politics in high school, and seriously considered majoring in Poly Sci when I was deciding where to go for college. While I would never dream of subjecting my family and friends to the extreme impact of running a campaign for a higher office in this day and age, I continue to be fascinated by the lack of educating oneself that remains the usual voter’s approach to preparing for each election cycle. Endless attacks on one’s personal character/political history because of a random Tweet or commercial you saw one day does not entitle you to a superior opinion, but rather puts you in the majority of those who do less than the bare minimum to learn about candidates before formally casting a ballot.

Let’s visit the notion of the “wave” that normally favors the party not holding the Oval Office very four years. For decades, the Republicans and Democrats have assumed that by attacking the other’s President early on in their term – it is only natural that the nation will follow their lead and empower them in the other government branches to seek a true balance of power. However, 2022 is showing a buck in that trend because of two primary factors: first, the candidates selected from both sides were not exactly what the public wanted to replace incumbents (cue celebrity TV doctors, and others who seem to think democracy is something to be taken from someone else) – and secondly, the MOST influential factor, is that the nation does NOT like the idea of a candidate needing to be “backed” by Trump as a means for getting elected into office over someone else.

We can go back and forth on this all day, as most of you know that I voted third-party in 2020 since my conscience would not allow me to cast a vote for either of these senile men to hold one of the most important positions in the world (and furthermore, I did the same thing in 2022 when it came to replacing our soon-to-be-vacant Senator spot in NC based on the options we were presented with). You can do your best to tell me my vote is “wasted” in this system, but the independents taking office (or forcing run-offs due to percentages not being reached) are implying quite the opposite. If more of you were willing to act on how you feel, the candidates being vetted and polled would be of higher quality and a better reflection of the platform you claim to represent… or you may finally see the light and put some effort into creating a healthier alternative.

Our nation may indeed be approaching its 250th birthday, but when it comes to the discussions had on nearly every platform – you would think that the US is struggling with puberty in its teenage years with acne popping up every other day no matter what kind of facial scrub we use. I hope that the surprising outcomes (I’m defining “surprising” by noting how many races went against polling data) challenge everyone to not merely call the election process into question – the fact that it takes us weeks to count votes amid lawsuits from both sides is just downright depressing – but to take time from scrolling through Reels and TikToks to dig more into what makes someone an ideal candidate to you personally. You might be surprised as to what you find, and I’ll be over here with a cigar to talk about it all when you do.

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Positivity in a toxic climate.

Joe, I’m sorry that everyone is treating you this way. You have lived a wonderful life, filled with blessings and tragedies, and deserve to be somewhere peaceful making the most of what time you have left on this earth with your closest family and friends. Your resolve to make the United States a better place is admirable (whether we agree on any of the ways you plan on accomplishing that or not) and should continue to be commended. It really does bother me that so many in our society resort to hurling insults about your family and the personal obstacles you’ve faced instead of spending more time learning about the vision you have for our country.

Donald, I’m sorry that you’re in this mess too. You seem intent on staying as active as you can, and involving a ton of your family in the process – while I’m sure many of them love and support you, it must take such a toll mentally and physically. As it is with every disaster society faces every few years, you didn’t ask for the opportunity to lead a country through a pandemic – any of us would age 10 years in the span of a single year when trying to do what you have been tasked with. While your demeanor may not resonate well with many in this country, there is something to be said about the strength you showcase in many areas of life as you try to find ways for our country to rebound from the disaster of COVID-19.

Jo, Howie, Brian, Brock, Gloria, Don, and even Kanye… I am SO so sorry that our country can not mature enough to handle dialogue between more than two parties. You have gone above and beyond to get your names to appear on ballots throughout the country, even with so many people putting you down and trying to convince you that the attempt is futile. While many of you embrace platforms that could be considered too radical for much of the country to embrace right now, you are to be commended for sticking your neck out and taking criticism from all sides to try and do the right thing. I sleep better at night knowing there are people like you out there taking it on the chin while climbing uphill in the battle to bring dignity and fairness back to our election process.

You see, it is incredibly easy to get along with people (and even possibly pay them a compliment) yet still disagree with much of their platform and values. While I may share a meme or two that poke fun at some candidates, I also reason with my conscience on a regular basis and get down on my knees to pray for all those running for office as much as I can remember to. By stark contrast, the amount of funds being spent on mailers, spam messages, and commercials spewing catchphrases and slander by Republicans and Democrats is downright horrific, and should motivate all of us to be better.

What does that look like though? For some, it will mean taking the couple weeks of voting to volunteer at local polling centers to help the senior citizens who have done so for decades and have already done their part. For others, it will take a very honest and open conversation with their loved ones about the consequences of trying to run for local office because they feel that it is their calling. Though it has always been looked upon as an honor to serve, the conversations and culture surrounding holding office in 2020 is so toxic that it is scaring away many people (like myself) from considering such a run.

For most of us, being better implies that we need to be more thoughtful about the content we put out for the world to see – be it on our Facebook, Twitter, or front lawn. While it becomes quite comical at times to fall into the black hole that Reddit threads and photoshopped candidate memes can be… we as citizens of this great nation have an incredible chance to show the world that the federal election outcome this year will not reflect what we as a country want as our future – and it will start with our careful selection at the city, county, and state levels. Do just as much research about the neighbors running for city council, and have a conversation with them if you get the opportunity. Each small step will propel us further to a political climate that will make us believe it once again when we sing that we “are proud to be an American”.

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Stop the nonsense.

You, the one shaming your friends for sharing information they came across online in one form or another. You, the one “threatening” to unfriend people you at least somewhat care about because something they posted may have inaccurate data to go along with it. EVERYONE IS FRUSTRATED. EVERYONE WANTS ANSWERS.

What is this righteous horse you sit on? Instead of making fun of others or calling them terms that accomplish nothing, why don’t you take the time to educate them with what you know? Not a single one of you has the solution, but is quick to the draw with a meme or snarky comment as someone is trying to get to the bottom of why we are in this mess. People are collapsing mentally all over the world, and all we can do is fight over when and how is “appropriate” to give everyone a source of income once again after volunteering their livelihoods as a means for limiting the spread of COVID-19.

It doesn’t matter if what they share sounds ludicrous – there are far more bizarre truths in this world that people are afraid to admit (perfect example: how the two party system is antiquated for our needs). It also shouldn’t matter to you if they didn’t take the time to thoroughly vet the credentials of the people in the interview they watched and shared, because you can’t pretend for two seconds that you do the same with everything you put on your personal profile. For crying out loud, this is simply some of society’s plea to have the right kind of conversation looking for the light at the end of the tunnel (and to hold those accountable for wrongdoing in the event there was any).

If one of your friends or family chooses to share content that you find misleading or inaccurate, do the responsible thing and educate/inform with valuable information that may let the conversation dive deeper. Belittling our neighbors is the MOST irresponsible thing we can be doing at this moment in time (and trust me, I remind myself all the time not to join in). Show respect and love in each interaction, and maybe – just maybe – we will have a chance at keeping hope for humanity alive in this mess.

End rant.

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Political Homelessness.

I came across this term the other day during the constant quarantine scrolling, and it really struck a chord with me. There isn’t much that seems to properly define my views when it comes to our chaotic world… but it is a safe assumption to say that I feel politically homeless.

Our society has continued to evolve and expand throughout the years, and yet for some reason our “fearless leaders” continue to convince us that the two-party system actually represents our best interests at heart. They are quick to spend the necessary resources to convince those around them to disregard Libertarians, Green Party members, Tea Party believers, and anyone else who is willing to sacrifice their time and money to challenge the status quo. I don’t know about you… but it is starting to feel like an awful amount of suppression is being applied to our friends and families.

Well, let us dive deeper into the emotions of Ben for a second. Ben believes that marijuana in every form should be legalized – something members of both parties struggle with at times because of their lobbying interests, in addition to their feelings about those who are incarcerated for that type of crime. Ben believes in the sanctity of life from conception until natural death – choosing to help and care for someone no matter WHAT phase of life they are in – which breaks up into multiple arguments, which of course have several sides and stories to compliment each. Ben believes that everyone has the right to arm themselves… but that doesn’t mean automatic weapons should be in the list of options for individual home purchase. Ben believes that the process to become American should be one that every immigrant should go through when they’re ready – but that it is our neighborly duty to care for others when they are often coming to our country to escape an evil from the place they used to call home.

As you can probably determine on your own – with each statement several of you desired to high five me in one half of a sentence, then you probably lowered your hand as I finished the same train of thought – and vice versa. I (very openly) voted third party in 2016 for President, and created a state/county/city ballot that mostly resembled the color of purple by the amount of times I crossed sides. I’m voting for a person to fit the assigned role, not the party and the nonsense they try to shove down our throats. The parties are corrupt, flawed, and in desperate need of a generational overhaul – this applies to BOTH the Republican and Democrat parties, so don’t flatter yourself if you think I’m attacking just one side here.

From what we have seen this week, it is apparent that our “only” options for the coming election are to put one of two gentlemen (using that term loosely) in the White House for 4 years because the skewed format of our politics demands it. If you think my conscience will be clear voting for either a businessman who only puts himself first with each thought, or a man whose demeanor implies that he’s been through enough hell and is ready to be moved into a nursing home… I can’t say that I’m going to sleep well at night knowing that the country I love so much prefers one or the other as the leader of the free world. As Americans, we have a duty to each other to challenge when something isn’t right… and this is my simple way of stating just that. As a God-fearing individual, I take on an additional moral code that obliges me to speak up for those who may not have a loud enough voice in their fight.

Please do not be afraid to speak up if you share some of the same feelings. If the statements made here are enough to unfriend/unfollow, I get it – not everyone has the guts to say what they truly think when most of our content posted these days is the perfectly filtered shot of whatever we want others to be consuming. My suspicion is that I’m not alone in this, and that with enough effort (all we have right now is time, right?) we could make a dent in the current operation that constantly disregards our best interests.

Regardless, I hope this gives everyone some food for thought as we try to figure out this thing called life together. Don’t forget that I love each of you, and will always strive to do what is best for all of us.

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How did we get here?

As in – how did we end up relying on this group of people to represent our interests at the highest political level? All their names are in the news for delaying this, vetoing that… why can’t bipartisanship reappear among their ranks?

For starters, we’ve allowed these people to remain in the same positions their entire careers without questioning whether they are still the proper representation of the districts in which they live. The absence of term limits is finally rearing it’s ugly head for everyone to see, as a result they reside comfortably in the biggest houses on the block while several of us are in the unemployment line.

They continue to manipulate us, regardless of party, to pursue the interests of their own class. In case you can’t tell by now, they don’t actually care about you and me. All these delays and negotiations are attempts to display/exercise power in a moment when all we need is actual help. As observed in the news, this class of people – whether designated as conservative or liberal, right or left, red or blue – would rather make profits for themselves first before even remotely acting like it is a priority to save American lives and jobs.

I hope you all remember this when November rolls around. These people deserve consequences for their actions, not us. Do whatever you have to in order to be able to vote this fall to be the change we do desperately need.

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The bad word: politics.

Everyone seems a little too interested these days in knowing exactly what each of us believes when it comes to the issues the media is determined to have us care about.

As more content is brought to this platform, I simply ask that you keep this in mind before jumping down my throat about something that was said – my belief is simple: the two-party system is failing us in the United States. It is up to the younger generations to prove that point, and establish a different option of value to those we care about. Therefore, my comments and criticisms often tend to involve all sides of a debate – because more often than not, I find myself in the middle asking everyone “Where Is The Love?” like my crew BEP did back in the day.

At the end of it all, I want what I say to come across with how I feel – that with enough love and self-sacrifice, we can restore hope to every part of this current situation that makes most of us unable to sleep at night.

Don’t forget, as my Nana often reminds us… if there isn’t anything nice to say, you probably should keep your mouth shut.