I doubt any of this is going to make sense, but I think it showcases just how bizarre how capable the mind is in wandering all over the spectrum… and I hope it will let my thoughts simmer as I try to continue to be present with my family, my work, and everything else going on in my own life.

Guys, I played music for a school’s first Mass of the year a few days ago. Such joy and excitement on everyone’s faces to be together again… without even the slightest thought of being in danger.

I choked up last night when my oldest choose a book for me to read to her about a character’s first day at school. How, out of all the books, did she pick that one.

The middle child asked to sing lullabies after the longest phase ever of not wanting any of that as part of her bedtime routine. I could barely keep it together for her.

Our youngest started rolling over a couple days ago, and is now laughing at nearly everything his older sisters do – each of these advancements our children make are precious to us, and we try to take as much time as we can to treasure them as they grow.

There are parents who have had those opportunities with their children ripped away in an instant, in a scenario previously only possible in the minds of the worst writers of fiction.

Imagine being a parent expecting to come home, cook dinner, and talk about all the things their child learned that day while at the table together. Instead, they have paparazzi outside their home to catch a glimpse of what used to be – after the worst 24 hours of their lives talking to first responders and the like. They took the beloved “first day” picture this week, and will now have to decide on an picture of their child to use for funeral arrangements. I think most of you know me well enough to know that if this were to be any closer to home than it already is, I would need to be put in a straight jacket – because there is no telling what my response would be to the raw emotion (and I’m already pissed off as is).

No one should ever, ever, be put in this situation. Of course, there are things outside of our control (i.e. natural disasters) where the worst can happen. But this? We have the ability as members of society to make a difference, and yet everyone is so desensitized to this type of incident that many folks are simply going about their lives today. I vividly recall one of my staff members running out the door after getting a phone call so long ago (they grew up around Sandy Hook and knew almost everyone involved), and am appalled that our country has failed to protect some of our most vulnerable all these years later. Flags at half mast for a few days? Cool. Then what?

If your political representatives won’t pick up the phone or respond to your e-mail, make a trip to their office. Knock on the heavy door until security escorts you, and scream at the top of your lungs about how you feel. Show others in your community how much it matters, until something finally clicks in their own heads. There isn’t a single material thing I wouldn’t give up to save the life of a child, and I can only hope that hearts around us can feel warmth once more to share that level of compassion.